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The way he sees it is that you already had plenty of time...8 years worth of time...you don't do something real quick then he will end it for good

From his point of view, you’ve had the guts of 8 years. How much more time must he give/waste? It sounds as if his cup has run dry. Ultimately you can’t make someone want you when they don’t want you. The only respectable thing to do here is accept he feels the way he feels, move on and do better.

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Let that man go, not working or going to school in an 8 year relationship is crazy

I know. He wants to. I’m fighting for us. I don’t know what to do. He’s told me he’s mentally checked out but I can’t just let it end. We bought a house together this year. We’re engaged.

I don’t know if a big gesture today is the right thing to do or not. I don’t know if he’ll accept it. I need some serious advice. He’s mentally checked out but emotionally he still has feelings for me. I know we both love each other and I know we can work if he’s able to give us another chance.

Give it your all. Be present for him. He is checking out because you are not there...be there for him.

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There isn’t anything you can do. You had 8 years to do something and you didn’t. Let him go.

For context, while I was not working or going to school I was Al still financially stable, for the better half of our relationship I was bringing in more money than him. Not to go too off topic but I had a childhood death in my family that set me up with a hefty amount of life insurance money for about 5 years once I turned 18. I started working just before that money had run out. I browsed school and tried to figure out what I wanted to do in that time but just couldn’t seem to find my calling.

I supported us through him telling me he wanted to quit and completely change his career. He’s now very successful in his new career and he told me he was happy to allow me to figure out my own aspirations and dreams. He encouraged me to do better for myself.

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What were you doing those 8 years? 8 years isn't struggling get your act together, If my SO and I didn't have a kid and she was out of doing something for multiple years and it wasn't due to something like crippling depression then I would be fed up as well. You might have had money, but that's not the same as bringing anything in, if you had a job you could have saved that all up for a downpayment on a house etc. As for what to do, try to be the best partner you can not just because you're gonna lose him, but make it a permanent change

Depression has been a very big struggle in our relationship. I did save a chunk of the money I got and that is what landed us the house we have now. He had bad credit and debt from credit cards he got in Highschool, so even our first apartment was under my name.

I’m still struggling with depression, but I have been making steps to change. I had been going to therapy for some time and I am trying to make those permanent changes to be better for myself and for him.

It has been a downward struggle for me for years. I have a lot of childhood trauma and anxieties I have been working through.

I should have put more of that into the original post but I also wanted to be a little brief and not give out my life’s story.