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thatnoscopesheriff t1_iycxiez wrote

You can do whatever you want.

Communication is key!

Let your date know that you aren't feeling yourself and would like to reschedule.

If they are worth your time they will understand.

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nandolols OP t1_iycy2u1 wrote

I’m gonna ask to rearrange and say I’m feeling rough

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nandolols OP t1_iycxoak wrote

Even for a first date?

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thatnoscopesheriff t1_iycy4gq wrote

Yup.

If someone can't understand that you're going through something now, imagine how they'll be later in the potential relationship.

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necrid101 t1_iycytu9 wrote

As long as you communicate ahead. The sooner you do then the better. But then also make an effort to make a reschedule, if you flop then it's on you to make amends if you actually care to make it work.

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nandolols OP t1_iyczn5b wrote

Tbh I don’t think I wanna go at all

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necrid101 t1_iyd0osc wrote

Then you can even say, I just to be honest am not feeling a connection.

But I usually say always go on ONE date and the person COULD surprise you on how they are in person. But if you've done that already OR if it really just doesn't feel good at all then do what's best for you. Cut ties and move on just be vocal and don't Ghost :)

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nandolols OP t1_iyd1130 wrote

I haven’t been on a date yet. But I dunno. I’ve got a feeling she won’t want to go now. I got quite a blunt reply.

I feel like I always talk myself out of things. I would like a gf. Then I get excited, ask for a date, then the more I start to think and question, I end up not wanting to go. I find something that puts me off

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Pricklypicklepump t1_iyczpci wrote

Yes, and I've had people bail on me this late too. As long as they let me know they won't make it, it's fine. We can rearrange. If it happens twice in a row I cut my losses and move on.

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nandolols OP t1_iyczsvs wrote

Just don’t wanna make people feel upset but honestly today mentally I feel really shitty. I’ve moved to a new city in the last 2 weeks and I’m struggling to stay happy a bit

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Pricklypicklepump t1_iyd13mk wrote

Don't worry about upsetting people. Your mental health is the priority and a happy you is more important than an upset randomer. Moving is hard, moving cities is harder and it's wise of you to postpone a date if you're not feeling ready for it.

Take whatever time you need to get your head right. Dating can wait and if this potential date is worth it, they'll wait too.

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nandolols OP t1_iyd1c8e wrote

Yeah. I’m having troubles with anxiety at the moment and maybe a bit of low mood. I could go, but I feel like I’d be forcing myself and I worry that’s maybe not fair on her?

I am also getting a bit worried about age though. I’m 26. Not getting any younger and I seem to have a way of talking myself out of liking someone

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Pricklypicklepump t1_iyd35e5 wrote

My SO suffers anxiety and depression, so I know what you're going through. If she was feeling like this, I'd want her to take whatever time she needs.

You're a young cub yet, loads of miles ahead of you. Focus on getting your headspace right and the dating will happen when you're ready for it.

Talking yourself out of liking someone sounds like an excellent problem to have. If I could do that, half the mistakes I made in my life might not have happened.

OP if you haven't been to see a doctor yet, I'd recommend it. Like I say, my SO suffers similarly to you and since she's had medication, her life is a whole lot easier.

Inbox me anytime you want to chat.

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