Submitted by Double_Afternoon3705 t3_z939j0 in relationship_advice
I 25m I'm not sure where my relationship is going with my girlfriend 35f (well I'm not sure what we are so I'm just going to say girlfriend). So a little context we've been together on and off for 3 years in the beginning of our relationship I went to jail for a month and a half and while I was in jail she was telling me she was faithful to me and all of this after I got out I had my suspicions because my best friend was living with her and I went through her phone one night yes I know invasion of privacy I understand that but I had this overwhelming suspicion that she was lying to me turns out I was correct she was seeing her so-called best friend while I was in jail a month after that on Halloween she was at work and I had the night off so I went to a friend's house for a party to have a little fun she knew I was going of course and will my ex was there I ended up getting really drunk and sleeping with her that night and then later on that night dropping a tab of acid so while I was intoxicated on acid and drinking I made the decision not to tell her about it for the time being because I needed to be in the right State of Mind and a little while I went on and I ended up forgetting to tell her about it and our roommate at the time told her about it because she was there when it happened I don't blame her for telling you probably would have done the same thing that turned into her losing trust for me and since then I've been nothing but faithful to her we broke up the first time about a year ago and trying to get over her I was drinking a lot and ended up sleeping with a few people before talking things out with her and told for about everything that happened while we were broke up and we ended up getting back together and earlier this summer I want to say June we broke up again because one of the people that I slept with said that the child was mine that she had I did a paternity test the child is not mine we are currently talking again me and my girlfriend but we're not together she says but yet whenever we are spending time together she acts like we are back together in the relationship tells me she wants to be with me but also says she cannot be with me right now I am confused because I grew up in a family that if you want to be with someone you don't let anything get in the way which is what I'm trying to do since the reason I've been spending most of my time with her trying to show her that I do love her because she also tells me that I don't show her that I love her enough I know our relationships not perfect but it's the one thing that I value the most is the one thing that I want back I have made that very clear to her I have told her countless times I don't necessarily know what else to do because she said she needs to take care of herself for once which I understand I have no intention of stopping that from happening I'm trying to do the same thing to be 100% honest but she says that's why we cannot be together right now but then also at the same time I've been staying at her house for the last 2 weeks and she's taking me to work and letting me use her car to get to and from work because I don't have a car like I said acting like we are together I will lay in bed and she'll cuddle with me yes I sleep in the same bed with her when I stay with her I talked to her about what we are the other day and it turned into it yet screaming match because she says she cannot be with me but I said then why do you act like we were together when we're together why do you kiss me all the time why do you love on me all the time and she says it's for my sake and I told her that you don't have to do that if you don't want to be together don't lead me on cuz I don't want to be trying my everything for something that's going to fall apart in the end I told her I want to have someone that's going to match my energy and effort in the relationship and I understand there's going to be days where it's not going to be 50/50 where it's going to be one doing more than the other I understand that everyone has their down days me included I try to my best to take care of her on her down days when I'm with her I don't know feel like I'm rambling now I just don't know what to do can someone help and give me a little bit of advice on my situation cuz I'm sure I'm not the only one that's gone through this situation before
AutoModerator t1_iyeq7ti wrote
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.