Submitted by [deleted] t3_z9219r in relationship_advice
[deleted]
Submitted by [deleted] t3_z9219r in relationship_advice
[deleted]
It sounds like you don't want the same things in life anyway, so even if they were realistic I don't think they would match yours. Also I'd be questioning his ability to problem solve and make solid plans if he really has this as his only plan.
Its not worth it unless you can get on board. Even tho it probably won't happen resenting his dreams or goals won't make a happy relationship. You both will be happier with partners who share closer ideas of the future that they both can feel good working towards. Its never gonna be easier to have a clean break as it's gonna be at this point. The longer it goes the harder it's gonna be to leave but the issue will stay the same.
You are short time together and even if some of his future plans are unrealistic, he dreams of living in the cabin in the woods with his wifey, i guess that poops out his children and care for him. He will go on the hunt, why else have a cabin in the nowhere, except you start an horror movie, but then you also start to hunt...
If you already know that you will be not combatible longterm, why even keep going?
Definitely no kids. I’m not able to have kids, he knows this, he doesn’t want kids. In his fantasy future, his wife lays on the the tiny beach and tans and drives the boat around and looks hot. And he hunts for food, and farms for food, and fishes for food, and chops firewood. It’s pure fantasy.
I could get on board with living in a rural area where we would have access to hunting and fishing. Id absolutely be onboard with buying a lake house in a developed area. What I’m not onboard with is this fantasy where his theoretical future wife lays by the lake all day while he hunts and fishes for food like some kind of modern day pioneer at an off-grid cabin 20 miles from even the tiniest town. But part of me thinks that it’s so unrealistic that we’re going to graduate, the NFL probably won’t happen, and he’s going to be forced to reshape this idea of what his future looks like and whatever that ends up looking like might be something I’m interested in. I went to the cabin last week to visit him during deer hunting. It’s not livable, and it’s not the kind of thing that could be made into a year round home without major money.
While things will very likely change for him as time progresses it's not wise to bank on that happening. If it doesn't your going to resent him and you'll be the ah for that. If you want to continue and see how things go there's nothing wrong with that. Be realistic tho in understanding his ideas may not change as much as you want. I think I'd be most curious to know how much he's willing to be flexible on for his partners sake.
AutoModerator t1_iyeiwfw wrote
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.