Need some advice

Submitted by Subject_Cup3985 t3_z92etn in relationship_advice

Me and my boyfriend have been together about six months, he has never been great with communication, I have talked to him about this a lot of times, he did seem to be making a bit of an improvement. He works away but we see each other most weekends, when we are together it’s great, I absolutely love his company and he’s kind to me, I do feel that I look after him, cook, wash he’s clothes, iron them. He doesn’t ask I just do because that’s me. A few months ago I was in my room and his phone was in charge it was a bumble notification, I confronted him and he showed it to me and there wasn’t anything there. He said that he re-download it because at that time he thought we were still just a thing! Even tho he wanted to be exclusive, I was quite hurt, he was crying and said he knew it was a mistake and that he really likes me and is falling for me, I let it go as there wasn’t enough proof. Anyway, the last few days I’ve noticed that he’s been on instagram a lot, he’s not txt me back on whatApp but he’s been in that a lot. Today I confronted him and asked him if he was talking to someone, he said no he’s watching videos and that I’m being a silly girl. I txt him back and NOTHING. I will tell you all that my husband was a cheat and was abusive and because of that I’m more jumpy, he knows what I’ve been through, am I being overly suspicious???? Is this me and my overthinking? I have been a lot more suspicious of him since that episode.

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Darkness844 t1_iyempdj wrote

Seems a bit suspicious, especially when he told you to chill out while calling you silly..

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BinkoBankoBonko t1_iyemt3a wrote

He wanted to be exclusive and redownloaded bumble. Came up with an excuse and then cried.

You have a type unfortunately I think.

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misterhiss t1_iyen2mk wrote

He might just be the kind to have a lot of friends online. I'm that way. and yeah, I can bounce between Instagram, WhatsApp, Discord, etc messaging different friends while I'm there. He might see his chatting life as being different from his real life. He might be protecting his sanctuary when he's in that zone but not connecting with you there.

All that is mights and maybes. You know he had bumble but he wasn't afraid to show it to you and say what it was and why. Sounds like you weren't on the same page about your relationship. If you weren't on the same page at that point, I'm wondering if he fully understands how his behavior is affecting you. He sees himself as just chatting with some friends and checking out some videos and not realizing this behavior is tripping your suspicions from a previous bad relationship. Make sure you convey this to him. Make sure he knows that's not just you being some silly girl but the scars left on you by prior bad experiences.

You are being highly suspicious and your mind is definitely taking the ball and running with this one. But you've got a reason to be that way. Make sure he knows what it is and is aware that he's walking through a minefield if he keeps going on this way.

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Subject_Cup3985 OP t1_iyenqm0 wrote

I did explain this to him previously, I try to think logical and not jump the gun, I was angry because he didn’t bother to txt me at all, and he was on instagram, I’ve never been a girl who needs to be in contact 24 hrs a day, that’s not me but he goes hours without responding. I txt him back and explained to him this again this afternoon and he’s not talking to me.

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