Standard_Buffalo7762 OP t1_iycqsyy wrote on November 30, 2022 at 12:57 PM

Reply to comment by Aggravating-Pear9760 in My (27M) wife (26F) denies almost everything that I ask her to do. by Standard_Buffalo7762

We met on campus and were on talking terms, and then she brought up the topic of marriage and asked me, I accepted as thinking it was an easier way of finding a partner.

undercovertortoise t1_iycrc13 wrote on November 30, 2022 at 1:02 PM

Is arranged marriage normal in your culture? It is in mine, l was never taught the implications of marriage, just told that it was a necessity. If she never had a relationship and has grown up under a culture where dating and talking about intimacy is taboo she probably doesn't even understand the concept of marriage/a relationship properly

Standard_Buffalo7762 OP t1_iycrt1v wrote on November 30, 2022 at 1:06 PM

I would say that arranged marriage is normal in our culture. Before we married, she told me about her 2 ex boyfriends, so I don't think that she wouldn't know about relationships. I've yet to talk to her parents about this, do you think I should ?

undercovertortoise t1_iye7v63 wrote on November 30, 2022 at 7:09 PM

It's entirely possible for her to be inexperienced even if she had ex boyfriends either way though, talking to her parents is not very helpful, you should sit down and have a conversation with her and ask her kindly about why she refuses to be close to you and express how you have been feeling. She either 1) has been in relationships without being physical at all and does not know how close people are because in my culture I have never seen parents be affectionate with one another, 2) may have married you for material reason only. 3) maybe do some introspection, are you treating her well? If you are yelling at her or anything of that sort she may feel resentful

Standard_Buffalo7762 OP t1_iyea61r wrote on November 30, 2022 at 7:25 PM

I don't remember the last time I ever rose my voice in my home or anywhere. I have a firm grasp over my emotions. I really don't want to leave her, I really care about her, that's why I keep doing everything she asks for.

Aggravating-Pear9760 t1_iycu6ol wrote on November 30, 2022 at 1:28 PM

Unfortunately you're thinking was very naive and no wonder this relationship is failing. You married someone you didn't even know (which under some circumstances can work with negotiations and good match making) but this sounds like a marriage of convenience or a rush but not love or even any other stable benefit. There was no foundation. There most likely is absolutely no sexual or romantic attraction here.