Creative_Recover t1_iy86a4v wrote on November 29, 2022 at 1:56 PM

I think your gut instinct is telling you that more went on than what she has admitted to, and you're probably right. The trust has been broken and you can't even hope to restore things if the whole truth has not come out.

I think you need to decide what is right for you, and give yourself a bit of space to process things before then. Some relationships never heal from cheating. I know you mention stuff like family, but staying with someone just because they come with a family is a bad idea. You need to judge this relationship by its merits (and by its own merits-only).

You have been betrayed. It doesn't matter if it happened a long time ago, it took up until now for her to confess. I wonder why she's suddenly telling you now (perhaps an old flame threatened to tell all)? I would go get yourself tested for STD's.

myWholeWifeIsaLie OP t1_iy87ago wrote on November 29, 2022 at 2:04 PM

I don't think the std thing is currently an issue but everything else you said yea. I've been as spaced as I could. Not sure if it will heal cuz we've been together since middle school and its like we grew up together.Then It's like she went from "wife" to "someone else" almost instantly.

ctn028 t1_iy9euqq wrote on November 29, 2022 at 7:05 PM

I had a relationship just like that. Together since school, high school sweethearts, all that. 4 years later I have a new finance, life is great, and this relationship is a million times stronger than that one ever was. Don't convince yourself you'll never move on. You will.

BisquickNinja t1_iy8ou1k wrote on November 29, 2022 at 4:13 PM

I am sorry that this has happened to you, be sure you get yourself into therapy if you can. This is a difficult situation, just realize you are you and there is plenty of time to find someone who will be devoted to you and love you deeply.

Good luck and be above all, be gentle to yourself.

Creative_Recover t1_iyadu7x wrote on November 29, 2022 at 10:52 PM

If she's cheated on you then you need to get tested. Some STD's like chlamydia can show no symptoms for years on end and left untreated, can cause infertility in both men and women alike.