I (23 F) need advice on whether I should cut it off or give it a shot with him? (26 M)

Submitted by No-Advisor6075 t3_z8u3gd in relationship_advice

This is my first reddit post ever, so if something is not allowed please delete it. I need advice on a man. I (23 F) have been talking to this guy (26 M) for a few months now. We met in a public setting where we only had one 10 minute conversation but I couldn't get him out of my head. Come to find the next time I see him he felt the same way. We both ended up leaving the relationships we were in because of the connection we felt. Whether something was going to come of it or not we felt guilty staying in these relationships feeling this way. Fast forward to a few weeks of dates/hang outs later. He's staying over 3-5 nights a week and things are going great. We have started hooking up at this point. Emotional connection is great. Sex is great etc. I will be leaving after I graduate college (3 semesters left) to join the peace corps. This is a minimum 2 year deployment where I could potentially have very minimal/no access to internet. Due to this both this guy and me have an understood agreement that there will be an eventual end to anything we start. That being said, I have never felt this way about someone before and im almost 100% certain the feeling is mutual. Like this kinda stuff only happens in the movies type of feeling. We have just been holding onto our thoughts in order to not ruin the "ignorance is bliss" situation we are currently in. We are both partially emotionally unavailable because of just leaving past relationships. To me it's healthier to cut it off now. To avoid the pain it will cause when I leave in 2 years, considering how strongly I already feel. I know my heart will be absolutely broken. I've spoken with him about this and he listens, and respects it, but I can tell it's not the route he wants to take. I honestly don't know 100% what im asking. Just advice or input I guess. I'm at a huge crossroads.

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MikeFjord t1_iyd9qcw wrote

Options.

  1. Do you have to join Peace Corps? If you can give up this idea to be with him, then this is one of the options.
  2. Why doesn't he come with you, joining Peace Corps too? Could he give up his plans for 2 years to help you in volunteering? Therefore, this is also a good option, unless, of course, by the phrase "it's not the route he wants to take" you meant that you had already discussed it.
  3. You can ask him to wait for you. If he is a man of honor and can be responsible for words and promises, regardless of circumstances, then this is also an option.
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EvenOrchid6345 t1_iydaf9t wrote

Take the happiness you can now. Every good thing eventually ends, why rob yourself of joy now? If you lived happily for 60 years and then he keeled over of a heart attack, you'd still be wishing for more time. Life is hard, it's cold, it's often cruel. TAKE THE JOY WHEN IT'S OFFERED.

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Eehyo013 t1_iydegd3 wrote

Tomorrow isn’t promised. Enjoy each day as they come with people who make you happy. Your story will unfold with time. Don’t overthink it.

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No-Advisor6075 OP t1_iydgc6y wrote

Replying to MikeFjord (#809,558)

I don't necessarily have to join the peace corps but it is part of my life's dream. It's something Ive worked hard to make a possibility for myself, and I know I would regret it if I didn't go. He works here full time in the medical field. Him coming with me isn't something that's been discussed yet, but maybe I'll mention it and see where that goes. My biggest issue with waiting and long distance is my need for physical affection. Physical touch is my love language and if I know there's somebody I love back home that I can't be with in that way it would hurt me constantly and deeply. Thank you for your advice this helps <3

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