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Such-Candidate8083 t1_iydp6hq wrote

First things first. Set your boundary on how much you can afford to spend on him and enforce your own boundary with your own self.

Second, if he doesnt want to do anything in order to see you, do you want to be with him?

Third, are you compatible if he doesnt work or go to school and you do? Are you compatible if youre long distance and cant afford to see each other?

Fourth, hes making excuses for not having a job. There are thousands of open entry level jobs you can do from home. Or businesses you can start. Plus he got a job, then did not keep it THREE TIMES.

Fifth, a friend of mine spent tens of thousands of dollars on a man over the course of five years. He never held a job, never did childcare, and never helped with chores. Instead, he hit her and played video games for hours daily and impregnated one of the women that he played with. I’m sharing this so you know that sometimes people don’t change. Sometimes they get much worse. And it can go on for as many years as you allow.

And whether or not he decides to change is NOT IN YOUR CONTROL.

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Snoo36463 OP t1_iydsb18 wrote

he's a really sweet and caring person but the problem is he's just lazy (i feel bad for calling him that but he is lol) he wants to play games all night and sleep all day. but when i see him in person he's completely different, he wakes me up at 9am every morning so we have more time to hang out and he doesnt want to touch video games because we could play together anytime. our plan is to live together in 2 years when im done with school and i really really want to so im trying really hard to help him. but yeah if he keeps doing this its not gonna work out as much as i hate to say it

also sometimes he jokes about in the future im gonna get a big job and pay for everything while he stays home and keeps the house clean. i dont want to live like that and im starting to think its not a joke lol......

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Such-Candidate8083 t1_iydt941 wrote

No i dont think thats a joke, i think thats his wish. And its fine to want that and express that but if you dont want that, youre not compatible.

Plus I hope he realizes that staying home and managing a household is actually a lot of work so if he doesn’t like to work, then he’s not gonna like that arrangement either.

God forbid you end up bringing in the money and doing everything at home too, like the friend i mentioned.

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