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Dangerous_Papaya_578 t1_iydncqk wrote

Just ask. If you are able to have sex, you should be able to clearly communicate. Especially if you’re having unprotected sex.

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planetsheenis t1_iydp1t1 wrote

Yeah I plan to. Would being upset be unfair? I definitely feel like I'm just being paranoid as she's implied she's pretty monogamous. But to be paranoid, I've implied harder... Lol

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Dangerous_Papaya_578 t1_iye4yt0 wrote

The trick isn’t to frame it as an accusation or in a way that would put her on the defensive.

Just say something like “Hey, I really like you and what we have going on, you’re the only person I’m with. Am I the only one you’re with? I’d really like to make this official/exclusive if we’re on the same page.”

It would be wrong for you to be upset if you haven’t had the exclusive talk, though I can’t say I wouldn’t be upset either.

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planetsheenis t1_iyegakg wrote

Yeah I phrased it as casual. It's not so much about exclusivity, though for me I don't like pursuing multiple people past let's say date 2. OTOH I'm totally cool with safe casual stuff, but intentions weren't set.

Idk if it's contradictory to say if she wanted something casual I wouldnt be as bothered but otherwise I'd see it as a massive red flag considering the context of our dating. At the very least I learned the importance of discussing intent, never took this sub's word for it.

Thanks for the advice, I think I needed moral support more than anything

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canadianbriguy1 t1_iydtjkq wrote

Just start a convo and say if you’re going to be sexual you’d like to be exclusive. That can lead to asking if she has been since you’ve been meeting up, and you tell her you havnt slept with anyone else since.

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Omneorift t1_iydu7l6 wrote

You don't ask her if she's sleeping with other guys. You ask her if she wants to become exclusive, and go get tested again without telling her.

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davidmacku t1_iydxaey wrote

Before my now wife and I got sexual. We booked in together to get a full STI/STD check first.

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