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MarriedLife7 t1_iydvw5v wrote

Why do you both want to work this out is my first question? You now both have trust issues. So why is this worth it to both of you? If you both really loved each other you wouldn't have felt need to go outside of the relationship for validation or you wouldn't have felt a need to get revenge on him.

It isn't just you being very honest with him it is him being honest with you. Generally I would view what you have as a toxic relationship and it is only 1 year long.

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Living-Kiwi t1_iydwrg6 wrote

We know it’s toxic but we both started going to therapy we want to be better for each other

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MarriedLife7 t1_iydxo2f wrote

So what sort of action items or lists have you developed to ease each other's fears and keep communication open? Therapy is great and if resources would be available everyone should have someone permanently available, but it is only 1 step forward.

If you and your partner can't get over the required openness that will be needed for a LONG TIME then it will be very tough.

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Living-Kiwi t1_iydy3a2 wrote

He has complete access to my phone and my laptop and I’m willing to do anything he asks of me i truly do regret hurting him like this. We’re thinking of couples therapy too

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