Seek counseling, theraphy to help you leave her. I did when I couldn't leave my abusive 5 year relationship in the past. I took it for almost 1 year before I could finally de-attach. He beat the living shit out me and tried to kill me multiple times and would make me feel responsible, that i made him do it, would apologise and tell me he was never gonna do again, buy me things. Take me on vacations, would tell me anything i wanted to hear just to do it again.

When you say sorry and repeat.. sorry looses the value and becomes a weapon.

You can still work out the custody if you wanna see the kids. I understand it is hard for you at the moment. You have loved and cared for them this far.

I hope you leave her. She dont give a flying f**k about u. It must be hard for you to see the actions that say exactly how she feels about you. You should fight for no financial responsibility with the kids. You can get you name removed from their birth certificate even. This way your not financially obligated. Just be present and that should be more than enough. Do this while the kids are young.

Im pretty sure she will do anything to persuade you not to do anything that can fuck her.

This woman is straight up using you and will do anything in her power to emotionally work you as she has and knows you will be a bending backwards for you.