Title! Found our husband of 7 years and two toddler had an affair. He knows it’s my non negotiable and worst nightmare as my own parents divorced when my dad had an affair with a coworker as well. It was discussed and made clear MANY TIMES. We had issues - he think I wasn’t “the girl he married”, not as fun. But I’m like dude - I had two kids, now 2 and 4, with 0 family support (I’m an expat), and I still think I was pretty damn good. Why does he keep telling me I’m a good mother ? It doesn’t feel like a compliment but I can’t explain why. I haven’t worked in 5 years - classic case . 7 year itch. Dependant woman who devotes own life to his career. Find affair right before Xmas. I’m grossed out by how completely basic all this is. And I can’t stop crying . While looking after 2 tiny kids. This was an affair over many weeks with coworker I had to discover on my own, not a confession .

He’s probably telling you that you’re a good mom bc you associate a good parent household with two married parents and therefore he’s basically manipulating you into thinking well i’m a good mom so i should be married.

please know that you are a good mom no matter what and you are still young and can definitely re marry with a guy that won’t cheat on you. The issues you described (of him feeling like you aren’t the same) will only get worse with time as you mature as a mother and he doesn’t mature out of a childless man mentality. A divorced household with happy individual parents is much better then a married household with miserable parents

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What’s his response?

Did he quit his job?