Ok-Bass2557 t1_j2f788n wrote on December 31, 2022 at 8:43 PM

As someone involved with this lifestyle....your husband has made a comedy of errors. This ls is way more popular than people believe. But he is obsessed with the fantasy. I don't blame you for having the feelings you do, it is creepy how he approached it.

Most relationships fail that try to open up after being monogamous. In this case, I'm betting if you went through with it, hooked up with his friend and had a great time, he would of been balled up in the corner crying his eyes out with the realization of what just happened. The fantasy sounds great until it punches you in the gut when you see it irl. And you can never undo it.

I dont know if I would directly advocate for divorce, but it would be on my radar....

Tight-Cut-4606 OP t1_j2f7ubf wrote on December 31, 2022 at 8:47 PM

Thanks for taking the time. As someone who is involved in this lifestyle you may be better aware to answer questions (I would really appreciate it).

I am 99% sure he has shared some pictures of me with thus friend in which the friend relieved himself over. He spoke about it descriptively in such detail I cant possible think it was fake. Knowing how long he has been into it, even if I tell him I'm not down to do it that's end of, do you think he will seek some other form of satisfaction of another or similar fettish elsewhere?

The other thing really bothering me, is how likely would it be he participates in these activities roles reversed. Him with someone else's wife? Or are these 2 fettishes completely seperate?

Thank you.

Ok-Bass2557 t1_j2fehf7 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 9:36 PM

I don't want to alarm you, but he might not stopped with just his friend. Does he subscribe to any Reddit subs? Does he have a username here? I don't advocate for breaching anyones privacy, but he has already stomped on your boundaries and I'd have a look through his phone.

I haven't seen anything prevalant that suggests that if you get turned down for your kink/fantasy that you would turn to something else. In the subs I partake in, most guys that get turned down just fade off into oblivion. Right now, this is like a drug for him, an addiction. And it's skewing his better judgement.

2 completely different fetishes/scenarios. Most guys in this ls have zero interest in being with anyone but their wife. Most couples that live the lifestyle use it as an extension to spice up their sex life, something they can do together(sounds weird I know) . That wouldn't be a huge concern of mine, him getting with someone else.

TMI, but....we do this so my wife can experience and live life and I'm so happy she can and I'm thrilled when she has great experiences. I haven't touched anyone but my wife in 40 years, and I won't. If my wife didn't want to do it or continue to do it, we would be done, no questions asked. Conversley, I think your husband wants you to be his personal porn star. It's all about him, not about you.

There are others in the community with a lot more experience than us that may have more input, but that is my experience. I would minimum have your husband go to counseling with you.