Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

WildlyUninteresting t1_j2d1ugj wrote

This situation was designed to fail.

You left a situation you had complete control to live with a man that has none. When the relationship was failing long distance you should have let it go. You expected them to change in their own home. That’s not going to happen.

This situation is only going to get worse.

6

MarMar9292 t1_j2d2sn0 wrote

The long distance was mostly failing because of me not being able to deal with the separation (mostly the whole year apart during covid since borders got closed down), so the issues we are having now, I did not expect them. We also saw each others a lot, at least before covid, and things were good.

1

WildlyUninteresting t1_j2d3ajl wrote

You didn’t expect them but it doesn’t change that this was designed to fail.

How long do you think you can last like this?

2

MarMar9292 t1_j2d3xoc wrote

I didnt really have many options (I couldnt find a place, I couldnt just go back to my country as it would almost automatically cancel my visa and it was just a no return solution that I couldnt do) so I just try to wait. I was mostly waiting for him to get a job which he should start next year. He offered to help me get an apartment and we will see how things go from there.

1

WildlyUninteresting t1_j2d4r2b wrote

>He offered to help me get an apartment

You? If you break up?

Why can't you just go back to your country and stay there while ending this relationship?

2

MarMar9292 t1_j2d533w wrote

the plan is to get me a place so I dont have to "deal" with his family and then see if things get better between us when I am not "in a bad mood" because of them.

1

WildlyUninteresting t1_j2d5fj7 wrote

Why wouldn't he be moving in with you? Shouldn't that be the test?

It proves his willingness to leave and whether you can make it together.

You sure you want to keep throwing time at this problem? How long would you give it until you make a decision?

Why can't you end it, go back to your country and stay there?

1

MarMar9292 t1_j2d67ik wrote

Mostly because its a decision that would be unchangeable and I still love him and hope things will get better. I feel like we still have not given it enough of a chance. I left a lot of things behind and I would like to try everything I can before giving up and going back because it would be for good.

He doesnt want to move with me because he wants a break to hopefully catch feelings again.

I was not very happy with this option, it sounded a lot like he was trying to just get rid of me but to me its the last solution.

1

WildlyUninteresting t1_j2d77yi wrote

If he's lost feelings then it's already done. You loving him, doesn't change that problem.

Have you decided to either make this work or stay single because you are losing time to find someone else.

1