AngryTudor1 t1_j2d20z8 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 9:49 AM

I'm sorry, this is one of the harshest things I have ever written on Reddit but this marriage and relationship is a joke.

He has absolutely no interest in leaving home. It is ridiculous that he has gotten married to someone and has made no effort to live with them independently. The way you write comes across strongly that he has no interest in leaving his mother's house. Him saying "his love is almost dead" is a whole field of big red flags waving. I wonder how strong it was in the first place; a long distance relationship via the internet sounds ideal for this guy.

Sorry, the way you write it makes your husband sound absolutely useless. Doesn't work, doesn't want to live independently, doesn't want to support his wife and doesn't see his wife as his family.

You are not incorrectly perceiving things; his family don't like you, they are prejudiced against you as an immigrant to the country. They are really skeptical about this relationship and I really don't blame them; it's not like he has been leaping to your defence or showing them he is your priority.

You don't really show us any indication that this man is especially committed to you beyond going through with the promised marriage. You should be his everything and instead, he remains wedded to his family.

I'm not really sure what you can do. You both need to be out of that house and together, but I would be very sure that he actually loves you first, rather than loving the idea of having a partner. I would worry that long distance suited him more.

He needs to get a job and actually be an adult and a husband.

MarMar9292 t1_j2d3j06 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 10:10 AM

No need to apologize.

I agree that long distance was easier for him. He could go see his friends when he wanted, did not have to deal with things that comes with living with your partner and he could spend as much time with his family as he wanted. But the separation was also difficult for him so we both thought this would actually make things better.

He has also been dealing with depression (from the situation as well) so I didn't blame him for not being as involved.

At first his family said they liked me a lot, but it started getting "bad" because him and I had issues (from the long distance and other things that we were actually working on pretty well) and his family couldnt help but get involve. He also didnt help because he would talk about the issue with them. I dont know if it is a normal things or not, I only have my mom left and we are not close so I dont really do that.

But this and my "requests" kinda started the whole thing. Even thought he still claimed that whole time that they like me just fine.

He just got a job so I hope that will help, he was feeling really bad about not being able to land a job. He is also gonna rent me something but he wont come with me, he said he think we need space. I am not sure if its gonna help or not but at this point I just want to get away from his family.

He mentioned that he doesnt really love me romantically but hope it will come back when the tensions coming from living here go away as well. It is just really frustating to me because I feel like those issues are all coming from his family and he let them do that to us :(