Submitted by elektrofone t3_zz92w9 in relationship_advice
First off I should say I love my brother dearly. I have all the empathy and sympathy for him that I can give. That being said my patience is wearing thin and I am beyond frustrated with the situation currently.
A little backstory. My brother has always struggled with executive functions. He’s an amazingly creative person but when it came to school he struggled to get through. He probably should have been diagnosed with ADHD but never was. He had friends and was a talented musician so after school he played in a lot of bands and even toured regularly for several years. Eventually the music scene started to feel artificial and he felt like the path he was on wasn’t sustainable when it comes to supporting himself independently.
Since then he’s lived on and off with my parents [65M and 65F] who support him financially. He’s also had suicidal ideation although he’s never had an attempt. This put him in the psych ward at a hospital at one point. Since then he’s attended a stint at a behavioral health center which seemed to help but he quickly slipped back into old habits. I’ve tried to give him advice on how to move his life forward but every opportunity he eventually gives up on. He was on meds and then stopped. He went to therapy and then stopped. He had a job and then stopped. He now lives alone with my grandmother with my parents supporting him.
Meanwhile I feel like my parents relationship and mine is always clouded by his situation. My mother is always stressed about him but I also believe enables his situation and is codependent to a degree. When I express frustration I am rarely listened to and have no room for my own emotions. I can’t cut them out of my life completely but I’m at a loss of what to do.
I don’t know how to help him at this point. I and the rest of my family have tried ad nauseam to no avail. What can I do?
TLDR: my younger brother is in a state of arrested development and after trying over and over I am beyond frustrated and am at a loss of how to help him.
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