[40M][40F] Need Advice on New Relationship and Female's Behaviors

Submitted by interstatelovedong t3_zzyk7x in relationship_advice

I started dating this woman about a month ago and I have never experienced behavior like this in any relationship that I have ever been in. Any feedback or advice from this group would be hugely appreciated. I'll just make a list...

  1. For the first couple weeks of our relationship she made a number of insults about my appearance. Now I am not a 10 by any measure but I am a tall, relatively fit, and handsome man, at least from what everyone tells me. But she repeatedly put me down and made me feel inadequate. Could be her way if establishing power and the upper hand?
  2. She has a massive sexual appetite, which is great, but it is extreme. I've never ever had any issues in the bedroom and no complaints from anyone but she is always telling me that I am not up to her standards and I need to perform at her level. Honestly I don't think there is a man alive that could F*** as many times in a day/night as she wants to, without drugs of course. No idea what to do here.
  3. On a daily basis she reminds me that all sorts of men want her. She constantly makes comments about being with other men, despite my questioning her motivation for saying that and telling her I don't like the comments. BUT - she has a huge fear of me cheating on her, which I never would. This is so confusing!!
  4. She flip flops (again, daily) about what she wants from me. It goes from just FWB, to boyfriend/girlfriend, to let's live together someday, then back to FWB. The spin cycle is exhausting.

I need some of the smart people here to read this and offer some guidance please. How do I deal with these things?

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Comments

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paynetrain37 t1_j2ednjp wrote

Break up. You’re 40, you shouldn’t need Reddit to tell you not to be in a toxic relationship with a woman who puts you down and intentionally is trying to make you super insecure.

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SmoothCriminalJM t1_j2eeajq wrote

A month and she’s already finding new ways to make you miserable?? It’s actually not worth staying

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Consistent_Patient88 t1_j2efvn3 wrote

To be honest she sounds really manipulative. She’s already commenting on your appearance, sexual performance and is already talking about how all men want her etc. she’s either a pampered, spoilt bitch or she’s trying to lower your confidence so she can start controlling you. I’d say beware.

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Realistic-Airport775 t1_j2ejklq wrote

You don't deal with them. These are her problems, not yours.

She is trying to make them your problems and for you to be responsible for her needs

And she is massively insecure and is doing her best to ruin your self esteem.

Tip - If a new relationship includes insults about your appearance whilst othes praise you then this is a toxic person who is seeking to break you down. Don't be with people who do this, life is too short to put up with bad behaviour.

Time to read up on what a healthy relationship looks like.

Healthy relationship

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Al-Alecto t1_j2ezk4m wrote

She sounds like a narcissist and is being abusive. For your own mental health, it's probably best to call this off and go NC. If she tries to retaliate, that will confirm this.

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