Submitted by ThrowRACarRadio2022 t3_zzjmbz in relationship_advice

I´ve been together with my Girlfriend for about 6 months and we´re both pretty serious about it, so likelihood is very high that we might get married in the near future.

The issue is that i´ve been raised very "traditionally". I genuinely believe things such as the man paying the dinner bill, being the major income source of the household etc. I´ve also had a quite difficult youth. My parents live paycheck to paycheck and we have a lot of debt. Unfortunately my parents are very irresponsible and thus they´ve dragged me into this "debt-vicious circle" too.
I lost count on how much money i had to pay due to debt that has been registered under my name because my parents used my card or my ID secretly to buy things or because of simply literally having to give them money. That´s the main reason why i still don´t have a car, or basically don´t have anything worthy eventho i have been working for 4 years.

My Girlfriend on the other hand has very wealthy parents and grandparents. She said herself there isnt a thing she has not gotten if she wanted it. She doesnt have to pay for gas, doesnt have to pay rent, doesnt have to pay for groceries. This alone made me wanna reconsider everything, because "these kind of people" usually dont appreciate things such as basically being able to pay rent and afford necessities. They see take those things as granted.

She didnt show these signs at the beginning. But the more i am together with her, the more i see how entitled she is. For example, one day she wasnt able to use the car and i had to talk something with her which was quite important. And i told her just to take the bus (1min walk and 10min drive). And she replied with "I dont take the bus. What do you think i am". On another occasion she was ordering some jeans. And she literally paid 500€ for 3 basic jeans and i told her why she is buying these very expensive ones. She replied with "Yea the other cheap ones aint for me and mama is going to pay anyways so who cares".

I have to mention that she is only working 40% and her job isnt something that pays extraordinary well.

Now her grandparents gifted her a mercedes-benz and euphorically showed me saying "look at my new car" and also some other friends of hers. She didnt even mention that it was a gift and when i ironically said "Congrats, you really earned that one with hard work" she was pissed off. I also have to mention that she once said that she bought her Sportbike with her own money at beginning of our relationship. And only when i pushed how she even was able to afford that with her job she said "yea i bought it with the money my parents gave me, but it´s my money since they gave it to me".

At this point i am really losing interest. Apart from this aspect she is a 10. But her entitled behavior is such a turn off. She really thinks that she "deserves" all of these things, eventho she has done basically nothing outstanding in her life. It´s not about the gifts itself, it´s about how she genuinely tries to show off how she "earned" all of these things. She lives in a house with a pool, has two rooms, has basically no pressure from her parents and has to pay for nothing, yet she seems to behave as if this is totally normal and shows no form of appreciation.

And i am basically not that kind of guy. I take nothing as granted. I don´t even like gifts. I dont brag or say/think that anything belongs to me which i haven´t earned myself. I´ve never celebrated my birthday and my father gave me a 20€ grocery gift card as a gift on my 18th birthday. She as a 18th bday gift got her driving license paid, which is like 2k€.

What am i supposed to do. I can´t see a future with her being like this. I am currently a trainee at a reputable bank. I´ll very likely earn good money in the future. Yet I´d never raise my kids like this. I have the feeling that she´d make them spoiled.

TLDR: My girlfriend is extremely entitled and her parents are pretty wealthy. She has basically being gifted car(s), expensive things etc. all her life, has to pay for nothing at home and sees those things as granted and totally normal. I am basically the opposite, my parents are quite "poor". Anything else about her is perfect, but i can´t see a future with her while she still is like "that".

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TattooPuddle t1_j2bzfnd wrote

Don't go into a relationship expecting someone to change.

You take them as they are. If you don't like them 6 months in, you're never going to.

Find someone that's more compatible.

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ChocolateChouxCream t1_j2c6jy5 wrote

You cannot change her. Or anyone. There's problematic behaviours from both parties, but at least one thing is clear that you're not compatible.

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NoNipNicCage t1_j2c6m9v wrote

Your comment about the man earning more turned me off right off the bat. That's gross dude. You just sound mad because she has money. You don't even sounds like you like her honestly

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AffectionateWheel386 t1_j2cbasd wrote

Yeah, she’s not going to change and she’s young which makes a double the worst wait till you’re married, and she wants only the best in the finest things and buy them without thinking about where they come from marry somebody else

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