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peakpenguins t1_j2fedj5 wrote

Are you kidding me? Get away from this guy and go to college... He doesn't care about you, he just wants a babysitter.

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[deleted] t1_j2feqmq wrote

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peakpenguins t1_j2feyoe wrote

Honey your self-esteem issues and bad past are exactly why he's able to prey on you. A good partner wants what is best for you and he 100% knows that's not passing on college so you can stay home and watch his kid. He knows that and he doesn't care.

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[deleted] t1_j2ffwf5 wrote

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peakpenguins t1_j2fg14w wrote

He does enough to fool you into thinking this is a good relationship.

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[deleted] t1_j2fgjuz wrote

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polthedol t1_j2fheit wrote

Sorry… are you his employee still? Or have you “upgraded” to partner officially? The age difference considering your ages is gross. He hired you to look after his kid. That is his end game here. Believing anything else is foolish at best. Go to college. Jeez.

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vik_thewomaninblack t1_j2fkepg wrote

I reckon the few dates a month are cheaper than paying an hourly rates for a babysitter, so there's that

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polthedol t1_j2fkzsf wrote

Haha probably close to the truth there….

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[deleted] t1_j2fqu0k wrote

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polthedol t1_j2ft1q1 wrote

Hahahaha ok. I look forward to the post in a couple of years when this predator you are so in love with replaces you with another 19 year old kid that he can manipulate and control. Good luck

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Hal_Jordan55 t1_j2flt46 wrote

What's best for you or what he decides is best for you?

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[deleted] t1_j2fib58 wrote

This is grooming. He took advantage of your vulnerability to position himself as the only person you can trust, which is then leveraged into control.

Go to school. If he freaks out about it, that should indicate to you that he doesn’t want you to improve yourself or be independent, he just wants you trapped at home taking care of him and his child.

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KrNiTa t1_j2ff7hs wrote

This entire post is just gross. I hope you’re just a troll.

If on the off chance it’s not a troll post, break up with this creep and go live your life. Of course he wouldn’t want you to go to college, it would teach you to be more independent and self reliant. He needs you to “need” him to feed into what he’s been doing since you were what, 15?

This dude is not your “knight in shining armor”, he was grooming you. Get out and get therapy for the self esteem issues.

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[deleted] t1_j2ffxts wrote

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throwRA_justjjj t1_j2fghnz wrote

Yeah and if he wasnt a creep, he would have rejected you. I'm a couple of years off 34, and the idea of sleeping with a 19 year old makes me want to hurl, y'all are basically children.

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KrNiTa t1_j2fgwgk wrote

Yup. I’m in my mid-30’s now and the thought of a relationship with a 19 year old is cringy.

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KrNiTa t1_j2fgnhy wrote

Yes, he is a creep, it also doesn’t matter who fell in love first.

A normal 30 year old would have shut you down, and explained why it is inappropriate. Instead, he fed those feelings to get what he wants from you.

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tamileas69 t1_j2fk3hm wrote

He is a creep. Grown ass man dating a teenager. He's trying to groom you. Everyone here is telling you the truth but, you're refusing to listen. You need to run.

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southcoastal t1_j2ffn4a wrote

Is this a real post? You are a teenager who is being controlled and isolated by a man almost old enough to be your father.

Get out of this situation. He doesn’t love or respect you. He wants to financially, emotionally and physically imprison and control you.

He sees you as a naive child he can use and manipulate.

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mrp_ee t1_j2fem5o wrote

Hopefully you're just a bad troll. On the off chance you're not, enjoy life as his child bride prisoner.

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CanterburyJaney t1_j2ffqoi wrote

Why would you ever agree to this? He is literally, and very clearly, telling you that your future is not important. Why would you agree to be with someone who doesn't think you're important?

You teach people how to treat you. If you've decided that your life isn't worth as much as his, then there's nothing anyone can say or do to help you. You have to decide that you're life is valuable and worth as much as anyone else's.

We can type "Dump this guy, go to college" until our fingers fall off. You're the one who has to live in your head and experience the consequences of your choices. If you are going to let this person designate his plans and his kid as more valuable than you're plans for your life, that's your choice to make. Personally, I think that's insane.

But, if I tell you what to do with your life, then I'm just doing the same thing he is.

You need to stop asking other people what to do with yourself and decide for yourself how much value your life has and if you're willing to fight for it.

Or maybe that's too much effort. Maybe it's just easier to let someone else tell you who you are and what to do with yourself. In that case, just forget about college and be his nanny until his daughter grows up and moves out. He totally sounds like the kind of guy to stay faithful and grateful to you for all your years of service. He totally won't hang you out to dry at 40 with no education, no job history and no money.

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[deleted] t1_j2fg0d7 wrote

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CanterburyJaney t1_j2fh372 wrote

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to. Rude? You think I'm being rude? Honest. It's called reality. You may want to try it "Throwaway" You can't even use your actual account.

A dude is telling you to NOT GO TO SCHOOL so you can be a babysitter to his kid... Just listen to yourself.

The fact that you're even considering this is an insult to our entire gender. It's an insult to intelligent human beings everywhere.

Rude? Oh no. This isn't rude. What he suggested was rude. His whole plan for you is rude. The fact that you're annoyed with me and not him, is the reason there are men willing to even suggest this bullshit.

Rude? Oh no. This is a kindness. I bothered to tell you the truth. Come back in 20 years and read this again. Then tell me how rude you think I've been.

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polthedol t1_j2fhxg2 wrote

Still not being rude :)

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CanterburyJaney t1_j2fjprg wrote

ok.. that comment might have been slightly rude... but seriously though!

It pisses me off when people have perfectly good lives and potential futures and just toss them away for no reason.. like. How many people have fought to get away from oppression, then you have these people who are just lining up to be fitted for their shackles...

Like. We have so much in the world to fix... what if this girl has some untapped brilliance for cancer research, water purification, warp engine design, botany, I don't know, and we never find out because she never goes to college and this stupid guy just squashed our chances to have whatever she was going to come up with. I just want to shake these people like, Stop ruining our chances for cool people, dammit!

ok. I'll stop now. lol 😬

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polthedol t1_j2fk4q5 wrote

Completely agree with you. Sometimes wish I could reach through my screen and shake the OP!!

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[deleted] t1_j2fr12v wrote

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KrNiTa t1_j2frhsz wrote

To be fair, you are using a throw away…

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[deleted] t1_j2frqrb wrote

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KrNiTa t1_j2frved wrote

You did…when you posted here looking for advice that you don’t want to take.

So, why bother posting here? My guess is troll/rage bait, or you really are that clueless to what’s happening here.

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[deleted] t1_j2frz5d wrote

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KrNiTa t1_j2fs4cj wrote

You’ve received 70+ comments worth of advice, so maybe you should take your own advice of “stop lying or go”.

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[deleted] t1_j2fs779 wrote

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KrNiTa t1_j2fsaug wrote

Because he’s a pedophile and preyed on a young teen with self esteem issues.

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[deleted] t1_j2fss5o wrote

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KrNiTa t1_j2ft0v5 wrote

Doesn’t make it any less gross, you were still a child.

I think you’re just a troll, honestly, which is truly sad.

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[deleted] t1_j2ft8ys wrote

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KrNiTa t1_j2ftjui wrote

Not attacking, just don’t understand why someone would bother asking for advice if they don’t want to hear it.

If the all of the comments here are saying the same thing, maybe you should reconsider where you’re at in your life. Just saying.

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CanterburyJaney t1_j2fskw3 wrote

When was that even presented as a thing? Did I give you a false name or a false picture? No.

You're just grasping at straws. You don't have to listen to me or anyone else. But don't turn this around on me. You don't like what I'm saying fine. Throw your life away. My life is going to keep going in the exact direction it was going to go in.

It's your life that's at the crossroads. Who is going to be at fault when you don't get your degree? Me? Because you don't know my name?

Who's going to be at fault when you don't get to be whatever you actually wanted to be when you were a kid? Me? Because you don't know what my face looks like?

Who's side do you think I'm on? Why do you think I'm so salty right now? You're advocating for a damn guy who thinks you're worth more as a babysitter than as whatever you could be capable of in college. Think about that for a minute. He thinks that's the best use of your time.

I don't even know you and I'm pissed off because if you decide to throw your life away, our whole world loses out on whatever you could have been. I lose out. That little girl loses out. Even that dumbass guy loses out. You getting your education contributes to the whole world and because of his dumb, selfish ass, you're actually considering just... not doing it.

But, you know. Be mad at me.

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polthedol t1_j2fhtfp wrote

I didn’t think they were rude at all… actually I think a lot more could be said….

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tamileas69 t1_j2fknpj wrote

Not rude at all. It's a kindness. LISTEN. Everything said is the truth. Reality is hard to face, but if you don't face it now it's going to get MUCH worse

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Mobile_Prune_3207 t1_j2ffohk wrote

You are not his nanny. You are your partner and if he's not going to support you and encourage you to be your best self (IE you wanting to study) then he's not the one for you.

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throwRA_justjjj t1_j2fg4ly wrote

Good God this guy is a grub. Leave him and go to college, do not drastically alter the course of your life for some guy nearly twice your age that's obviously using you for childcare and sex.

Also, hes fucking outsourcing the childcare when he has custody? Gross.

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otisdog t1_j2fiha3 wrote

Jesus christ. What is up with all these 18/19/20 year olds posting about mid-30s boyfriends.

This is a terrible “relationship.” Just stop. Seriously. You need to stop. Dump him and quit talking to him.

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brittanydid t1_j2fh19i wrote

You cannot convince him, his daughter is his responsibility. If he loved you he would want you to go to college

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Parson1616 t1_j2fhrg4 wrote

Why are you 19 dating this old ass man ?

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slimieddie t1_j2fi95v wrote

What in the watt pad.

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starbucksntacotrucks t1_j2fiqgw wrote

Okay, whichever troll has been posting age gap/mommy to his kids posts for days now, please choose a different topic to rage bait us all over. This is getting beyond old.

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egulsagedli t1_j2fk2xw wrote

Jesus fucking Christ! Another one!!! Stop dating dudes that are a decade or worst, more than a decade, older than you! It’s not appropriate!!! Whoever will see it, it’s not appropriate for a grown ass man OR woman to date someone who’s just a couple of years ago is still a fucking KID!

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biteme717 t1_j2fmbaa wrote

Go to college and stop being his play toy! YOU have a right to go and do anything you want and he doesn't have the right to stop you. Wake up and leave him and go live your life, he is a grown ass man with a child and a child GF .

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luvslilah t1_j2fnu33 wrote

Why do we keep seeing the same theme constantly.....younger girl falls in love with an older man and is surprised that he wants a live in housewife/babysitter, is being controlled as to what she can/cannot do, has no friends or family nearby, no job, no money. I'm getting tired of reading the same shit over and over. Ffs, no man in their right mind would be remotely interested in a young girl in their late teens/early twenties except for the reasons above and lots of sex

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whatthepfluke t1_j2fj7sr wrote

Sweetheart.

You are 19 years old and have your whole life ahead of you.

I don't agree with your age difference at all, and I'm saying this as someone with a partner 15 years my senior. But I'm 40. We're both entire ass adults.

You are practically a child.

However. I will not dwell on your age difference. What I will address us that this literal man is trying to make you put your entire life on hold for him, to care for his daughter.

He's trying to control and alienate you so that you have nothing to fall back on and have to count on him.

I've been there. It wasn't pretty. I wish someone had warned me.

I won't tell you to leave him, to run, screaming, in the other direction. But I will tell you, continue your life. Go to school. Take care of YOU.

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The-Clumsy-Pirate t1_j2fjnyd wrote

Girl i am not even going to go into the age gap because I am sure people already dragged you for it.

Lets talk about the employee-employer relationship. If you were working at any other place, say you're working at a McDonald's and your boss says that -would you skip on college for this? Do you see how insane that sounds?

Your education is probably the most important thing in your life. It will change your thinking and worldview, help your career, help you make a difference in the world. Worst case scenario if the worse things happen you can atleast use your education to earn a living and buy yourself food.

Someone who tells you to neglect your education so you can go do your job - a job that btw doesn't have a lot of growth potential because where do you go from babysitting? Thr ceo of babysitting club? - this person does not have your best interest at heart.

Its when compa I want you to come in despite you being sick, the weather, family emergency etc. You do realize in those case the company doesn't actually care about the emploand only about the work being done? That's exactly your bf - all he cares about is that someone is there to take care of his kid - he doesn't care about your life or your development.

I truly hope you wont permanently screw up your future for a guy you're seeing and make good decisions.

(Btw please tell me he is still paying you as a babysitter and you're not doing it for free because youre his gf because GOOD LAWD that would be bad)

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[deleted] t1_j2frage wrote

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The-Clumsy-Pirate t1_j2ft2ti wrote

So basically his stay at home gf who cooks, cleans and takes care of his kid?

I truly hope you see you need to build your future prospects and your financial independence. This is not negotiable.

If you have your own money, you can go live in your own house away from everyone you dont want to see and create your own living environment.

If you keep on doing this, what will end up happening is that you'll have no money, no job experience and nothing to show for. If he dumps you in the future you would have to start from nothing, which will be so much harder without a college degree and at an older age.

You're only 19. Please make good decisions for your future

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RNGinx3 t1_j2fjrld wrote

Better yet, go to college and ghost him. No 30-year-old man has ANY reason to be dating a teenager. He just wants a babysitter, and the fact that he probably gets to sleep with you is an added (ick) bonus for him. Go to college, do some growing up, get some therapy, and find a healthy relationship.

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giag27 t1_j2fju2j wrote

This isn’t real. Common peeps, don’t waste your time.

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imrealpenguin t1_j2fkwtr wrote

We really need to do something about the advice from these age gaps in this sub. 19 year old with a 34 year old? That's your problem, full stop. Nobody needed to read the rest of this.

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Hal_Jordan55 t1_j2flnh6 wrote

"Most mature" you feel for that?

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Fallon2154 t1_j2fluqt wrote

The fact he doesnt want you to go to college is a massive red flag. To me it shows that he wants you to be reliant on him rather then being independent. It's easier to control people when they have no means to support themselves. Yeah he can say and do all sorts of sweet stuff but at the end of the day he only wants to control you. You can make up all the excuses in the world to stay with him and not go to college. I mean its your life your wasting not mine. Just don't be surprised when you start resenting him once your eyes open up.

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Desert_Fairy t1_j2fm7q6 wrote

OP, there is less of an age difference between your boss’s child and you than between you and him.

You may not want to hear this, you may not like that you have been victimized again.

Abusers look for people who are in abusive situations because even a step above absolute shit is still being treated like shit. It might be better than where you came from, but it is still shit.

Look at that ten year old little girl. In five years would you let her date a 30 year old man?

To be that little girl’s mom, you would have been ten when she was born. Literally the age she is now.

Do you think she is ready to be a parent?

I’m sorry that no one here can give you the answers of how to make your shit situation into the fairytale that you want to believe it is. Only you have the power to change your situation.

Everyone here knows that you are in a psychologically abusive relationship.

As long as you are young and pretty and you do EVERYTHING he tells you to, he won’t hurt you. He will never let you become independent. And once you have matured beyond his preference, or start to show a spine, he will begin tearing you down until he finds another child to abuse in your place.

If you are lucky, he will throw you away. If you aren’t lucky, he will kill you and then throw your body away.

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trilliumsummer t1_j2fmbwx wrote

Is he still paying you to watch his daughter?

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[deleted] t1_j2froun wrote

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trilliumsummer t1_j2fs81y wrote

So that’s a no then. So you’re living with the guy, working for him, and all you’re getting is room, board, and some dick.

You know live in nanny’s get a salary on top of room and board, right? He’s getting a great deal, you are not. And it’ll be even worse after a few years when he either no long needs a nanny or finds his next teenager. Then you’ll be without any money, no place to live, and no education.

You also realize he doesn’t want you to go to school because then his free nanny isn’t available when he needs her.

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[deleted] t1_j2fsoex wrote

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trilliumsummer t1_j2ft1r4 wrote

Better than shit still doesn’t always mean good.

If he refuses to let you go to college, enroll in online classes you can do at home while the kid is at school. This will eventually blow up, try and prepare for that.

Oh and,please use birth control.

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Chubbymommy75 t1_j2fp4rm wrote

For the love of God please run thru those college doors! Do not sacrifice yourself to be his personal nanny

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LiliVonShtuppp t1_j2fp5h5 wrote

Dump the loser AND GET YOUR EDUCATION!!! This is the moment where, if you choose poorly and stupidly, you’ll look back on what your life could have been with deep, deep regret.

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diddinim t1_j2ft2l8 wrote

Run. Fast and far. FUCKING RUN.

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duperando t1_j2fts42 wrote

What is with this influx of posts of older guys who have groomed younger girls?

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