>he treats me like shit
>
>makes no effort to spend time with me
>
>good liar and constantly gaslights me

These alone are break up offences. You do not have to put up with this. You are not stuck. Make an exit plan and follow through. Start with a part time job and stop catering to him at home. He's an adult and is responsible for himself.

Anytime someone says "if you love me, you would do..." it is a manipulation tactic. It works because you love them so you feel you need do whatever they are asking. The truth is, if you were in a healthy relationship, there would be openness and trust. You are not in a healthy relationship. This is not worth your energy.