[31f][27m]How to break up with someone who talks about blanking themselves when we fight and he thinks we will break up .

Submitted by WoodenOne3189 t3_1000hpi in relationship_advice

I’ve been with him for a little over a year now . Our entire relationship has been turbulent. We seem to always fight over little things. I have a 10 year old daughter and a 2 year old son both are mine , I’m also pregnant with my now boyfriends baby. I don’t want to raise my kids in a house hold were there’s fighting all the time … when I say that he’s always like “so you’re breaking up with me” then threatens to unalive himself. He takes my keys when we fight so I can’t leave . I honestly just like to go for drives when I’m upset to calm myself down. It’s just not working anymore. The only thing is , I’m honestly a little afraid to leave him for one because I’m like completely dependent on him , because he’s made it to were I can be a stay at home mom . Which has been great , until i realized I’m completely stuck… for a the second reason , he threatens to no longer want to live if I leave him .. I’ve had one person very close to me do this so I take that seriously. I need advice of any kind please. Also please be nice . **this was posted multiple times because I thought the mods were deleting them because my title was wrong.

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quickcalamity t1_j2ermg3 wrote

Threatening suicide is next level manipulation. So he’s willing to resort to that but addressing the issues and instituting change is out of the question? And there’s little that I would find “great” about being a SAHM if that comes with shackles. All this and you let him put a child in you? Just ugh. Your job here is to protect your kids ASAP. Raising them in this environment is unfair to them. The longer they are exposed , the more permanent the damage. You need to seek out an alternative with family, a friend, anyone. For any future with him I’d require him to enter both individual and couples therapy and get him to quit whatever substances are contributing to the issues. If he’s serious about suicide, there’s nothing you can do to stop him.

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WoodenOne3189 OP t1_j2esnr8 wrote

Your are so right !! That is my biggest thing , it’s like why resort to that? Instead of taking a look at your problems and trying to fix them which will ultimately lead to a better relationship between us . As well as give him tools to be a better man for himself . You’re very correct about the stay at home mom thing lol I really do cherish my kids and I’m happy I get to be with them . He works ALOT so I’m mostly with them . As I homeschool my daughter . But you’re right … it comes with life potentially life long trauma to my kids . I was raised in a happy home , so I don’t Know what it’s like to be in a home of fighting parents . Lastly , I didn’t allow him to impregnate me . I’m actuality have an iud in … I literally just found out yesterday that I’m pregnant and have a doctors appointment to figure out what happened there because that honestly baffles me.

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gcitt t1_j2f2j1t wrote

If it's a hormonal IUD, it can be rendered ineffective by other substances just like the pill. Maybe you have shit luck. Maybe you had a drug interaction. Or maybe you need to check your house for a bottle of St John's Wort.

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sunnydaysahead2022 t1_j2epgxw wrote

I would get an abortion. That man is unstable. You need to protect your existing children.

Get out now.

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WoodenOne3189 OP t1_j2er52a wrote

I understand your concern. I with all my heart believe he will not harm me or my children. It’s just a toxic environment for us . Luckily he works all the time so we are not around it a lot . I am completely dependent on him though. He’s a local Hawaiin here and I have no family here , only on the mainland .

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quickcalamity t1_j2etn4y wrote

Early in your pregnancy then. I know what I’d do about that.

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