She doesn't CARE about how the joke made you feel, she care that you are upset, she doesn't care that the joke hurt you, she doesn't care that you want an apology! When people say things that hurt other people and use the excuse that it was a joke and they don't sincerely apologize it wasn't a joke! I personally with the way she's acting and her attitude, I would tell her that this relationship is a joke and I would break things off with her and leave and I would also tell her that the jokes on her.