[34F][45M] I’m alone for NYE after my bf decided I’m not *the one*

Submitted by tas241 t3_1004g71 in relationship_advice

I’m always second best or not enough in dating. They never have “forever feelings” for me. I’m reeling from my last relationship where he (45/m) checks so many boxes but doesn’t see a future with me. We dated for 7-8 months and it slowly trickled into a situationship - but one where we actually became the best of friends.

I’d like to think I’m not the one because of the trauma of his previous relationships/marriage and my gut tells me once I’m gone, he will come back…but I don’t want to wait around - and I won’t.

I truly believe in my soul I am SUCH a catch. I’m kind, generous, confident, successful with my own business, educated, pretty, outgoing and people generally love me or hate me - there’s no in between. Most people that hate me do so because of my bubbly personality (it can probably be overwhelming/ annoying at times) so I know I can’t control that / I’ve accepted it.

I am such a giver and we always did things for each other and now I’m trying to remember to do the thing for MYSELF when I catch myself wanting to do for him.

I have such intense waves of thinking I can handle the separation but then the “what if’s” crash over me and I have a meltdown.

I’ve done the whole “focus on me” phase. I know how to be single. I have learned to love myself (most of the time anyway). I honestly feel like my clock is ticking and I don’t have time to waste on any more self-work or a long healing process over this breakup.

What are some coping mechanisms, quotes, or effective ways to heal after a breakup?

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BlueDolphins1221 t1_j2fqpzn wrote

He probably wanted to take someone else out for NYE and thinks by breaking up with you he’s not cheating.

He’ll probably come crawling back.

Move on and don’t take him back.

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tas241 OP t1_j2fqv5m wrote

I’m thankful that I am certain it’s not the case - he’s at home with his kids. Otherwise I’d be more of a wreck than I am now. I hope so - and I agree!!!

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