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totallynotarobut t1_j2ecoys wrote

There's good news here. After 8 years, he's still your BF and not your husband.

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ThrowRAChancez OP t1_j2edmfi wrote

These are facts. I went from truly desiring marriage in every way, to being okay alone if that's what it comes to.

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biteme717 t1_j2egl29 wrote

After all this time and the things he's said enough is enough! Where is your self respect and dignity? Send them both a break up text and move on with your life. He doesn't truly love you and is only with you until she wakes up. I personally would have left him when he told you both that he and her were a perfect match to. He wants her, he will screw her if she's willing and he's already told you, he doesn't allow you to be friends with her. What more do you need to know? He's a liar and manipulator and is controlling you and the situation until he gets what he wants. Leave the relationship with him and go live your life, he ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE, it's been 8 years of the same old crap and 8 years of you being second choice stop being a carnival prize! Leave them both behind

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ThrowRAChancez OP t1_j2ekl4w wrote

Oh, I had 0 dignity and respect for myself when we first got together. I had actually just got out of a previous bad relationship. Told him all about it and he basically ended up being the same. The issue is that I'm waking up and he doesn't like it. He's waiting for her to wake up but never considered that maybe she's decided to go another way entirely. I've attempted to leave in the past but he plays the guilt game. He's "left" but he just comes right back after saying he wasn't ever coming back. I truly just want peace and it's sad that I have to give in to his way and only his way, or leave completely, to even get close to the peace I desire.

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biteme717 t1_j2emkgm wrote

Leave completely, he doesn't deserve you and you sure as hell don't deserve him! I would also make sure that he can't come back and I would block, delete and ghost him. You deserve so much better and you need to be happy and single without any burdens of him. Good luck to you

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