There’s something in here that I’m feeling, saying that there’s more to the “really low times”. And I can say from personal experience I went through a similar issue with me ex husband. I KNEW that I loved him but was repulsed by any sexual advances he made. And ofcourse I put the issue on myself, thinking I was asexual or trauma from my childhood. But after a few years of the no sex…. the little things that I outwardly ignored became bigger and I soon realized that he wasn’t a good person at all and he treated me horribly. It was that glow of a trauma bond that I “Loved”…. Well we’ve been divorced for a couple years now and I can confidently say I’m not asexual. Regardless of the reason you feel this way, weather it’s because you’re a lesbian or something else… this isn’t a relationship your body wants to be and you should always listen to your body. Don’t ever try and change how you feel or do something just to make someone else happy. Because in the end you’ll end up miserable and you lose that time to be truly happy. My advice is to listen to your intuition, it’s screaming for you to get out of this relationship. Give yourself a year of figuring out who you are after 3 years of living for and with someone else. You’ve already started the right steps. You stopped forcing yourself to have sex that was repulsive to you and that’s two years of feeling violated deep down. You need to really take time for yourself, learn to love yourself and respect your needs and wants more than others needs and wants. Loving someone is not putting your needs to the side for theirs, it’s two healthy people that take care of their own needs and love eachother for who they are.