You need to practice thinking before you speak. If you feel yourself overwhelmed with emotions, that is not the time to try to argue. Even if you have a valid point, your actions of screaming and hyperventilating make it hard to listen to you or take you seriously which probably exasperates your poor behavior. Give yourself a few minutes to calm down and wait until you can think rationally before discussing anything that upsets you.

ETA- continue therapy. You need to break yourself down before you can rebuild a better you.