themanfromUNCLE100 t1_j2bpf0n wrote on December 31, 2022 at 1:47 AM

You are not dating a man but a man child. Obviously he has issues but he's refusing to accept responsibility and work on his issues. Listen to your gut feeling. That's called reasoned thinking and not being unreasonable and overreacting. Don't stay in this relationship for the fear of being alone. You have invested a lot of time, effort and energy in this relationship. Now don't waste any more time in this because you have been with for 7 years. This is called SUNK COST FALLACY where people keeps on investing more time, effort and energy to something because they're already heavily invested in it.

You should be on your own for few months. Decide for yourself what do you want in a relationship and in a partner. This is very important phase unless you understand yourself you'd waste your precious years with another person.

The time has come to end it and move on in life.

Throwraes OP t1_j2brapo wrote on December 31, 2022 at 2:01 AM

Thank you for your response.

You are right. But I love him very much and feel I would miss him greatly if we weren’t together. He can be very sweet to me sometimes, it’s just this selfish way of communicating he has that really hurts me. He had a rough childish as he lost his mum very young, and then his Dad was useless. So I don’t think he ever really grew up or learned healthy communication skills. But, I have suggested couples counselling and he doesn’t want to try it. Apparently the reason is because he thinks “you and the counsellor will gang up against me”.

I have put so much into the relationship. We live together, have dogs together, and have years of routines etc that we got used to. I don’t know how I’d cope without him.