Thank you for your reply.

You’re right. But I feel that it’s a little more complicated than that. It’s my fault for not giving enough detail and explanation in my original post.

My boyfriend had a very tough early life. His mum died suddenly when he was 9, and then his father didn’t really look after him properly. He didn’t have any friends growing up, and became a social recluse with severe social anxiety.

We met at university many years ago, and he was always kind towards me. I am also a bit socially awkward, so we got on really well and became good friends. That eventually developed into a relationship.

He was a lot more functional back then, but things have changed over the years. He became a lot more depressed, dropped out of his masters degree, and then got signed off work long term because he believed he could not work due to his anxiety and low mood. I understood and supported him as best I could, but it has been 6 years and he has developed a lot of really bad, lazy habits now. He is complacent about pretty much everything. I was doing a Doctorate and asked him to help by proof reading my Thesis. He went on and on about how the thesis was stressing him out and adding a burden to his life. I ended up sleeping in the spare room for weeks and just doing the work without discussing it with him. I eventually told him he had upset me, and he apologised. But his behaviour hasn’t really improved. He can change one little thing, but the general behaviour stays the same.

I have to add that he has recently started being assessed for high functioning autism, so it is likely this plays a big part in his behaviours. It makes me question how reasonable/unreasonable my expeditions are all the time. But I also know so many people on the autism spectrum who aren’t rude and entitled like him. So I don’t know. He said I need to be more patient with him. But it has been years. He can be a fun companion, but he doesn’t make me feel secure or happy in the long term. 😔