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Walk away.

If he believes it’s in the nature of men to be sexually forceful in a way that sometimes overrides consent, then you’re going to be in for issues down the road.

And it’s not just whether he does something to you. He (hopefully) would never do something again like that event from last year. But there’s so many other situations where this comes up. What if a friend is sexually assaulted and he starts victim blaming? What if you want to do more SA advocacy and he starts making more arguments that you disagree? What if, down the road, you have kids…what is he going to teach them then?

This problem doesn’t seem like something you’ll be able to resolve, and consent seems extremely important to you and not something that you want to “agree to disagree” with your partner on.

You say here yourself that his beliefs are not compatible with you as a person. And yet you're still trying to make it work?

He isn't going to understand that his statement is fucked up because he doesn't want to understand. "Boys will be boys" is such a harmful dismissal of the actual issue. There isn't really a "biological inclination" to want to rape someone. You've already tried to explain that to him and he just wants to "agree to disagree" and sweep it under the rug.

You can either let him do that and be okay with it, or you can stick up for yourself and refuse to carry on in a relationship with a guy who thinks that he's just biologically wired to want to rape you but his "emotions" keep him from doing it.

I think I have to agree with the stereotypical reddit answer: run, if you can do so safely.

It’s not your onus to change him, especially in this regard, and especially given your past trauma. You’ve been through enough.

Besides, if he really believes this, then he is supporting a belief that men are at least not completely at fault when they commit sexual assault or coercion and that he is just as potentially dangerous.

Hell, he might even be laying the psychological groundwork for something he plans on doing in the future. Trying to make you think that, when he does it, it’s not his fault and that he can’t help it.

That’s not good.

So run, OP. For your own safety and wellbeing.

You know how we can't tell who's a bad person and who's not, it's not like they walk around with 'predator' written on their forehead right? This man just told you. He showed you before, now he's doubling down.

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