(20M)(19F) Couldn't get my dick hard

Submitted by ThrowRa_20023005 t3_1004irn in relationship_advice

I never thought this would be a problem but it seems so. Everything is great our relationship is awesome. I love her so much and its very comfortable between us. We got two chances and I blew it for both of us. The foreplay is great I get hard almost instantly. And I've came several times during oral but whenever i put on condom my dick goes soft. She's nothing been less of being the most supportive and awesome girlfriend. Its a first time for both of us. I let both of us down. I'm so disappointed in myself. Guys if you have any suggestions please let me know. I dont known if this is common or my own problem. Thanks for reading and happy new year.

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Ayo1912 t1_j2flv8y wrote

This is normal and will pass. The more you think about it the worse it gets - focus on her for a while and not on trying to get off yourself. Before you know it you're back up and running.

And please disregard all the dumbasses on here talking about how condoms are the problem. Be safe.

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David_Westfield t1_j2fgt13 wrote

Start beating off with condoms on to get used to the reduced sensation. Happens to all of us, nothing to be ashamed of.

Other than that just put lube on before putting on the condom. Helps with the sensation.

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Void-splain t1_j2fhigv wrote

My dude, it happens.

You're not alone and it's usually an issue of anxiety and nerves.

You can talk to a medical doctor, you can take to a sex therapist, read up about sex performance.

The main thing I'd advise: be patient and present. Listen to your body, don't get too stuck in your own head. Have fun and enjoy intimacy, and maybe even just take PIV off the table for a while. This can help relieve the pressure you put on yourself.

Alcohol and cigarettes make it worse, so the usual: mind your diet, sleep and exercise.

Consider laying off masturbating as you sort this out. Sex drive does build over time and masturbating can reset that drive as well

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eace0203 t1_j2fj360 wrote

Condoms are the problem.....

I joke, but it is a common issue with the wrapping of the tool.

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eace0203 t1_j2fjal2 wrote

Btw, I agree it has alot to do with the nerves that goes into the situation, performance anxiety.

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HowCanYouKillTheGod t1_j2fkdpo wrote

I have the same issue. It's the combination of the xo dom being too tight and nerves messing with ya. Happens like once a month to me, it's no biggie. Just make sure you do it every time you are calm and collected.

P.S. don't think too much before and during sex. Just let it go wild.

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HungryTreasure t1_j2fqcwv wrote

The condoms you’re using are too small.

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curly_lox t1_j2fr2pq wrote

No, they aren't.

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HungryTreasure t1_j2fs53x wrote

Aww cute, small dick energy, comment.

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curly_lox t1_j2ft6di wrote

I'm a lesbian with no interest in penises.

However, Howie Mandel demonstrated throughout the 80s that condoms can stretch to fit an entire human head.

So no, the condom is not too small.

Since he said he had already cum multiple times, he was likely just in a refractive period and would have gotten an election with no problem after a little rest.

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HungryTreasure t1_j2ftvvu wrote

Interesting that someone without a dick would make a comment as if they have lived experience with one. It’s almost like what some shitty men do when they comment about the lived experiences of women.

Stretching a condom with your arms, or whichever type of force, is not the same as putting one on an erect penis that requires a steady flow of blood in order to remain so.

You’re embarrassing yourself.

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