[28M][25F] How do I tell my girlfriend I don’t want to go to a party tonight?

Submitted by ishouldvoicemario t3_1002lp1 in relationship_advice

My friends are having a casino night themed NYE party tonight. We already told our friends that we we’re available and could make it, but I’m having second thoughts now.

I work tomorrow morning at 7am, so I’m not really keen on staying out super late. The party is about an hour drive away, so even if we left the party at midnight, we wouldn’t be home and in bed until about 1am, or perhaps later.

My girlfriend wants to drink, so if I don’t go, she doesn’t have a ride home. I would offer to pick her up, but at that point I might as well go since I’d be picking her up so late anyway.

I don’t want to ruin her night, but I also don’t feel like going to this party anymore.

How can I approach this without disappointing her too much?

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k-Unsolicited t1_j2f3nko wrote

You sound like an introvert lol

But I'd talk to your gf, tell her about your time concerns with work. And maybe even propose an alternative that would involve her being able to drink.

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ishouldvoicemario OP t1_j2f4580 wrote

I definitely am lol. I love socializing and getting to see my friends. They’re pretty much the only “family” I have out here. But I often agree to attend events, then come the day of, I don’t feel like going through with it. I just feel bad that this might affect my girlfriend’s night.

I’ll try to think of a fun alternative and propose that to her.

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k-Unsolicited t1_j2f4l1n wrote

You sound like my best friend 😂😂 I get it lol. You make the plan in advanced and the day of you're like "why did I do that". Gotta make day of plans(no time to cancel) with yall 😂😂

Yeah, just come up with something that she'd like to do. It's better than "I'm not going but also don't know what we could do instead".

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borkenschnorke t1_j2f3t7l wrote

To be honest its too late for that. Its new years and its probably time to go soon. If I were you I would bite the bullet and just go.

If you really don't want to go you could chuck a gallon of milk and say you are sick and are vomitting or something...

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HikeonHippie t1_j2facnr wrote

I don’t want to go to a party tonight, but I’m going because my husband is really looking forward to going. Your gf is probably super excited about a sparkly dress she bought. Suck it up.

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ishouldvoicemario OP t1_j2fahc9 wrote

She hasn’t bought anything for this. We didn’t even know we were going until yesterday.

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J0hanNmonster t1_j2fp5j7 wrote

"I don't want to go to the party tonight."

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ishouldvoicemario OP t1_j2fq8m3 wrote

That seems obvious. I’m wondering if there’s any better ways to do it without risking too much disappointment.

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J0hanNmonster t1_j2fu3wm wrote

I don't think the disappointment is avoidable if she is looking forward to it.

When we are in the same situation as you, we just say it to each other. Of course sometimes there is a disappointment, that's just natural, but we are not mad at each other or anything like that because we love and care about one another.

You should know your gf best so you should also know best how to phrase it. If she cares about you and how you feel, then there shouldn't be big issue.

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Pale_Height_1251 t1_j2fg6z0 wrote

Could you use words? Words that explain what you want?

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ishouldvoicemario OP t1_j2fgj44 wrote

Hmmmmmmmmm……. wow, never thought of that…. However I don’t think that will work. I was hoping someone would advise me to slaughter a lamb and paint its blood on the wall in old Latin that says “Sorry babe, I’m not really feeling like going to the party tonight, please don’t be upset.”

Though I appreciate your incredibly insightful advice on how to approach this conversation.

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