>He she you as a modern independent woman and wants things to be based on equality.

On what planet is being the gestational parent, and paying for everything, --while also doing everything while the other hardly lifts a finger-- considered "equality"? Definitely not on this planet!

In addition, he is callously trying to undermine her ability to be an independent person by cutting out all of the things she needs to take care of herself and his kid, in a house that he now owns: if he kicks her out, she has nothing. He even wrote it into their legal relationship agreement that she doesn't get a piece of the home he refuses to truly share with her, made her lose her scholarship, is ruining her chances of getting a degree, and is also tanking her career-- these are all huge, necessary things for a person to be independent. This is clearly straight up sabotage from the bf. You make this sound so flattering to both of them, when in reality her bf is a callous leech at best, and at worst is committing financial*, emotional, and likely other subtle or not-so-subtle abuse.

I agree that this isn't fixable, and that he'll never pull a fraction of his weight, but he's not doing it because of "equality;" he's doing it because he's a terrible person. This is an important distinction.

OP, please go talk to someone you trust about this who might be able to help: a school counselor, your advisor, a kind parent/relative/friend, or etc. You need help, and you need to have an empathetic ear to help you gain control of your life again. Don't let anyone tell you that you're going to lose custody of your kid, either: if you lay out everything you had before the kid that your bf ruined for you, the fault line becomes clear, and I imagine you'll get a healthy alimony (edit: child support) from this. Talk to someone about your legal rights here too, just to make sure that you get everything you need going forward.

*Primer on financial abuse: https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/what-is-financial-abuse-these-are-the-signs/