[33m][33f] - I've been developing feeling towards an engaged female co-worker and she has reciprocating feelings, or so I think, what should I do?

Submitted by Educational_Ad2579 t3_zzy0ac in relationship_advice

I consider myself an introvert and im very selective with the people I expose/open up to. Met this caring, sweet and hard working lady that I've had the previlege to teach the ropes of the job and gave her some moral support when things were grim at work. At the beggining she seemed to be a bit scared of me and the way I carry myself at work. Since then some months have passed and we have become more complacent. She started pulling my hair every now and then and has been sending me some signals but I overthink everything and get scared of screwing this up. She has been leaving me every now and then some treats (chocolate, cake) on my lunchbag. As a way of thanking her I gave her a pocket mirror with a small note and a box of chocolates for christmas. Lets just say I wrote a borderline cornyish message about how sometimes I'm under the impression that she suffers a lot on her private life and that everytime she is feeling low she should look into that mirror as a reminder of the person staring back is the most important and valuable person in her life and by extent to the life of others.

I didnt mean to write such a big text but without context its hard to be clear.

She shows interest, she worries about such mundane things in my life, she's always complimenting and trying to fish some more things about my life and then again give those 'hints' like the hair pulling and such. What am I supposed to to with all this? By the way she is engaged but seems like her feoncé doesnt appreciate her that much and she sounds very unhappy with her life atm.

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kvan1234567 t1_j2e8zkx wrote

She’s engaged. That should tell you literally all that you need to know. Stop it.

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A2Z-THC t1_j2e9zgd wrote

Leave it alone

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Consistent_Patient88 t1_j2ebw9h wrote

She’s engaged, which means, while she’s engaged then you back off. Would you seriously want to be with someone that’s messing around behind the back of a guy she agreed to marry.

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barukspinoza t1_j2egugq wrote

Nothing - she’s engaged. Move on.

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Present-Ad-3819 t1_j2ehenc wrote

Bro she’s engaged. Leave her alone. She will probably ruin the marriage since she’s already reciprocating your feelings but just get away. She’s not marrying you she is marrying someone else.

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[deleted] t1_j2elekl wrote

Jesus Christ dude. ENGAGED COWORKER are you stupid? I stopped reading there.

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TridentMage413 t1_j2em9qe wrote

If she will cheat on her fiancé she will cheat on you

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biteme717 t1_j2eqfnw wrote

She's engaged and playing you and you also have no way of knowing if her relationship is bad, so stop believing everything she says! Stay away from her and back off and have some respect for yourself, you sound like her little high school crush!

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Educational_Ad2579 OP t1_j2f30nm wrote

Maybe I am, but I know and witnessed first hand how the other person treats her and that he makes her walk on foot from home to work every day (40 minute walk) through blazing sun to heavy rain and she wont accept any help just for the fear of his reaction.

And its not just me noticing that.

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FredBirdNerd t1_j2espxx wrote

Nothing. You should do nothing.

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Educational_Ad2579 OP t1_j2ejwag wrote

At the time I didnt know she was to be fair. In the back of my mind I already knew I should have kept my distance. It hurts, but I'll be walking away. Better to rip the bandaid before it gets worse 😔

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ms_zori t1_j2f8zs6 wrote

You should know better ...don't get involved. She is probably enjoying the attention but it isn't worth it. She is going home to someone ....have some respect for yourself and her.

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MichyPratt t1_j2fbhju wrote

She sounds like she’s being friendly. There’s nothing you posted that signifies she has any interest in you as anything other than a friendly coworker.

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satanyourdarklord t1_j2f0g42 wrote

This sub has gone downhill. I remember when it actually used to merit thoughtful recourse. But the last several weeks it’s pretty much cut and dry.

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Gosc101 t1_j2ery9j wrote

Being fair to her fiance is fine and all l, but this advice is supposed to be in your interest. If( only if) you do want to pursue her I think you should do something that will make it clear to her. Leaving her with no choice, but either reciprocate your feelings or reject them. If she acts ambivalous then you should distance yourself letting her knows you aren't interested in being some side guy. If she does reciprocate as not be evil about it pressure her to make decision whether to get with you and leave her fiance or if she wants to stay with him than while also meddling with you then you need to run. In this case she is a hoe.

If she just rejects your feelings than disrance yourself from her. Things will be awkward, but there is no potential reward without potential risk.

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Educational_Ad2579 OP t1_j2f3d2e wrote

I am currently a little inebriated so Ill try my best not to react/reply to any comments until I feel myself again. So far, thank you all for your feedback.

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