Submitted by [deleted] t3_zzxuqv in relationship_advice
paynetrain37 t1_j2eb0xr wrote
Obviously you all don’t have as much quality time together as when you were 14, but you’re spending a lot of time together now. 4 hours a day is a good chunk, and I think it’s reasonable if she wants to be able to do some other things with her life.
I see two main options you could do. 1) you could pick up more hours with your photography so she can either not work or work part-time, and then she doesn’t have to choose between you or something else. And/or 2) you could plan ways to make your time more quality than just tv/phone/computer. You’ve got a good quantity of hours together, and if you did more meaningful stuff together 1-2 nights a week then she could go and have 1-2 nights where she is alone or does her own thing.
Everyone needs some space from their partner. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you or want to stay in a relationship, it just means that she has other things she also wants to do.
whathuhh23 t1_j2ewpww wrote
So I really value time. I think that’s why I don’t work a normal job to begin with. I look at it as we have 168 hours a week. We sleep about 63 hours a week(I should say her, I like to stay up a lot and sleep less) She works 40 hours a week+ not including over time hours. That’s 103 hours we don’t spend together plus that’s not including when she goes out on the weekends with her friends. So through life we will spend about 1/3 of our time together. I don’t know about you but I want to be as wealthy as possible and spend as much time with my family and friends as possible before I die. Work less, Play more. Work Smart, not hard.
paynetrain37 t1_j2f0rd4 wrote
Ok but if time is so valuable to you, you could work 2 more hours a week and then she could stop working without changing anything about your combined income. And then you could open up a bunch more hours to be together while also giving more time to her to do her own stuff.
If that still doesn’t fit for you, then you might just have different views on how much time you want to spend with a partner.
whathuhh23 t1_j2fd5ur wrote
That’s the point of my post… she doesn’t want to spend more time together lol. She wants to work and loves her job, and now wants even more time apart
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