[22F] [22M] break up over snow walk?

Submitted by ThrowRAbeachwalk t3_1004hjc in relationship_advice

My [22F] bf [22M] and I went to the snow, and as we started walking along, he started walking ahead without me. I asked him if we could walk together, and he told me to keep up. I caught back up with him, only to have him start to walk faster again and get ahead of me. He did this for the rest of our walk. I brought it up to him and said I didn’t appreciate him walking off, and he said that should’ve kept up with him, despite the fact that he walked away. I asked if he was going to apologise and he said no.

We’ve been together for 7 months, and I can’t help but feel like the situation as a whole is just stupid, and I feel like I should break up because if this is how he acts when it’s something so small, what happens when something big happens.

Any advice?

TLDR bf walked without me at the snow , didn’t think he did anything wrong , I’m confused

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Comments

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peakpenguins t1_j2fg4ps wrote

Was he in a hurry to get somewhere...? Why did he feel the need to walk ahead of you? Definitely seems rude to me.

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ThrowRAbeachwalk OP t1_j2fgjpd wrote

Nope. We had all day, and we walked up the hill and back down. I don’t get it

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peakpenguins t1_j2fgng2 wrote

Has he done other rude things like this?

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ThrowRAbeachwalk OP t1_j2fh23s wrote

Not really no. He seemed a bit off in the car before, but when I asked he said he was good and fine

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peakpenguins t1_j2fh761 wrote

Probably the best case scenario here is that he was actually upset about something else and took it out on you. Because if that's not the case, then he was just being an ass for no reason.

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ThrowRAbeachwalk OP t1_j2fhe5c wrote

Should I bring it up again with him and ask? Or drop it and forget it

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peakpenguins t1_j2fhkae wrote

Up to you.. Personally at 7 months in, I'd want to have a conversation about it to find out whether he's willing to actually listen to and understand your feelings and to communicate his own. If he's not, I'd consider that a big red flag.

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ThrowRAbeachwalk OP t1_j2fi7oz wrote

Fair enough , thanks for the advice

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[deleted] t1_j2fjyzr wrote

Yea, it’s not necessarily about the walk itself. But how he’s going to handle you bringing up the situation. Does he seem to listen? Like really listen? Take account of your feelings and apologize and say to work on it or have a conversation to come to an understanding? If so then that’s good. If he’s dismissive and short, or tells you you’re “overreacting” or being “dramatic” HUGE red flag and dump his ass. Partners need to be able to bring up their feelings with one another, no matter the context. If he dismisses that then he’s not worth your time.

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Highest-Adjudicator t1_j2fhkc4 wrote

He clearly isn’t ready to talk about it yet so give him some time and then gently ask him to tell you what’s bothering him.

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Highest-Adjudicator t1_j2fhd6z wrote

Something was obviously bothering him then, he was lying when he said he was fine.

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ThrowRAbeachwalk OP t1_j2fhgnr wrote

Do I forget about it? Or should I figure out what was going on?

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Highest-Adjudicator t1_j2fhx6u wrote

You should probably figure out what’s going on but don’t rush it he obviously isn’t ready to talk about it yet. Give him some time before you ask again

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Correct-Sprinkles-21 t1_j2fq5pr wrote

It wouldn't be over a walk. It would be over his behavior. He was unkind and rude.

If this is the first time he's ever done something like this, it's worth talking to him about, after he's had a chance to cool off from whatever was bugging him that day. "I felt very hurt and confused by your behavior on that walk. Can you explain to me what was going on? I'd like to understand and I'd like for us to talk about how we can avoid similar situations in the future"

If he's rude and snippy frequently, and it is something you can't accept and he won't change, now is probably a good time to cut your losses and move on.

Mind you, it's possible that he has grown tired of maintaining the courtship behavior that attracted you to him, and is starting to revert to his normal self as infatuation fades and real life sets in. If you start to see this behavior more frequently, that is probably what is happening. The real him is showing up.

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