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ozperp t1_j29atm7 wrote

I find it hard to believe this really impacted your mental health. You knew she was masturbating; you were just frustrated that she lied about it.

I'd be much more concerned about her profound shame surrounding masturbatoon than anything else. You need to get to the bottom of that, with the help of a therapist.

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hypeb1337 OP t1_j29bu67 wrote

When you’re in an 8 year relationship trust goes a long way, I took her word for it and genuinely did not believe she was masturbating.

So yes, I was having a battle with myself trying to convince myself she wasn’t masturbating because I took her word for it. So my mind is telling me one thing but her word is very strong in this relationship and I do not want to just disregard the trust we’ve built. So I’m having an internal battle trying to work this out in my mind. After all it is just shifting and shaking, it could be anything or my mind is making the noises/feeling up especially since my heart is thumping like crazy when this happens. But today I learned that wasn’t the case thankfully.

I don’t expect you to understand, but hopefully this provides insight.

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juliaskig t1_j2aejv9 wrote

You need. sit down conversation with her. Is there any chance she was still asleep?

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queencocomo t1_j2ae0nr wrote

When you trust someone implicitly you will absolutely convince yourself that you’re wrong in the face of h the their lies. Even if the thing they’re lying about is in plain sight. You don’t want that trust to be broken, so you convince yourself it’s you.

It doesn’t matter what the topic is, a lie is a lie. She made a statement and was lying about it. Even worse, she’s angry that he is masturbating—so i can see how he’d convince himself he’s wrong.

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