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PixieOnAcid t1_j2eq827 wrote

I truly think before you even try to do this, go to counseling with your wife. Make sure this is something she really wants you to do and not just something she wants you to do because she feels inadequate. Encourage her to be completely honest.

And then use those counseling sessions to discuss rules, if it does turn out that she is okay with you doing this. What are the rules for intimacy? Can you develop feelings for another person? What about protection? Are you going to require your partner to have a clean STD test before you get intimate? Where are these moments going to take place? Does your wife want to know when it happens or does she want to remain blissfully unaware? Does she want to know what they look like or what their name is?

What are her stipulations for still keeping your marriage alive? More date nights? Scheduled intimacy with her? What happens if she suddenly grows uncomfortable with this, are you willing to quit immediately? What happens if she decides eventually she wants to see other people too? Are you okay with that?

There's a lot of stuff to discuss that could be much easier to talk about in a safe space like with a therapist who can help you see stuff you might not otherwise due to your relationship.

As for where to find people, you could always use a dating app.

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Lichenbruten t1_j2eqzr6 wrote

I like this strategy a lot. I don't know that I could/would follow through on something like this, but at least everything is discussed beforehand in detail regardless of if you do it or not.

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Violated_Norm t1_j2evr86 wrote

Not all therapists understand nonmonogamy, if op costs to do this route they should look for a therapist with experience with nonmonogamous couples. I've had an open marriage for a long time.

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