[27F][30M] My ex of 3 years and I broke up two months ago. He's now hanging out with his ex-girlfriend from college, who he briefly dated again before we got together.

Submitted by Sea_Suggestion_5099 t3_1003lor in relationship_advice

My boyfriend and I of 3 years broke up at the beginning of November. Was kind of dragged on because we lived together for two weeks while going to a couple's therapist to see if we could make things work, but he ultimately didn't want to, while I was still wanting to work on things. After moving back in with my parents for the time being, I moved the rest of my stuff out of his house at the beginning of this month. I found out he was already on Hinge, and had on his Hinge that he was looking for a long-term relationship, before all of my stuff was even out of his house.

On a mutual friend's Instagram story from last night, I saw that a group of his friends all went out. My ex's ex girlfriend from college was there, who he didn't speak with during our relationship to my knowledge, other than when she texted him "happy holidays" during the holidays. They dated briefly again at the end of 2018, which was about 7 months before he and I got together. He told me that they wanted different things and just didn't work out as romantic partners. He was hung up on her throughout his entire young adult life and couldn't forget about her, until he dated her again. Just the fact that he went out with her and that she's hanging around friends that I thought were my friends is bad enough, but in one specific video where they were singing at the concert they went to, their faces were really close. Almost like they were about to kiss, or were brushing noses or something.

I am wildly hurt. I already feel like I'm being left out of a group that I hung out with for three years, but now that he's hanging out with her, I feel like I'm being replaced. Throughout our entire relationship he always told me that he'd never had a connection as strong with anyone as he had with me, and I thought he really loved me. He seemed genuine, and I believed him. I really loved him too. Now, it feels like he's just scrambling to replace me. I had a panic attack when I saw the video, and now I just have intense anxiety that won't go away. He's having an NYE party tonight, one that I obviously wasn't invited to, but I'm heartbroken because I know that his ex will probably be there, and we used to throw an NYE party together every year when we lived together.

It should also be said that he never deleted pictures of him with his ex, but he deleted pictures of us from his Instagram. Even after we had an argument about the pictures still being up while we were dating, and he told me "She was a big part of my life for a while. I'm not just going to delete the pictures." But then he took pictures of us off of his Instagram. On his Facebook they're still up, just not his instagram.

I'm just needing insight and advice. I'm not sure how to handle this information or process it. I struggle with anxiety, and this is just too much to handle right now. I know he's not doing anything wrong, but it's making me feel extremely replaceable in his life, and I'm really hurting.

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frockofseagulls t1_j2faefr wrote

Just like you’ll replace him in the future with your next boyfriend. It’s ok to be upset and hurt. But try to busy yourself with people and activities you enjoy and stop looking at his social media.

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Witch_on_a_moped t1_j2fah4y wrote

It sounds like he's been checked out for a while. That has to feel shitty. I'm sorry. Don't look at any of his socials. It does you no favors.

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