(36M) (40F) How to gauge if things can be more than platonic?

Submitted by codyfranson t3_zzggcv in relationship_advice

I'm inexperienced when it comes to interacting with women in the context of a romantic relationship (adept at navigating platonic interactions).

I met with someone through a group dedicated to a shared interest. We are meeting again and I want to know how to politely and discretely broach the topic of this turning into something more. We've only met once before this a few days ago but I'm absolutely smitten by this woman.

How can I politely and discreetly gauge if there is mutual interest in pursuing things beyond the existing platonic limits.

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Murky_Anxiety4884 t1_j2bkzby wrote

You can invite her for a one-to-one chat, maybe over coffee, in connection with one of these meetings. You steer the conversation towards relationships to see what, if anything, she says about her status. You see how she responds to harmless compliments, to meaningful glances, and to opportunities to touch you. That sort of thing.

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codyfranson OP t1_j2bp7sv wrote

Thank you! This makes a lot of sense to me. Much appreciated stranger.

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Dependent_Remove_326 t1_j2bfpn6 wrote

"Hey any chance I could take you on a date x night?" If she says no then you know and leave it at that. Only way to not make it weird.

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codyfranson OP t1_j2bg8zr wrote

I realize that's the simplest approach but is there a way to avoid such a direct question? I don't want to put her in an awkward position with having to say no and possibly jeopardize the existing dynamic.

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Dependent_Remove_326 t1_j2bk979 wrote

No not really. Any other way creates awkwardness and misinterpretation. Ask simply and directly and leave it at that.

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