I have nothing polite to say about this situation and am trying real hard not to say something so incendiary it's ban-worthy. It sounds like this msn does not respect you or your time or work, on any issue, and is telling you that. If he wants custody he should try proving he can handle any amount of responsible interaction. I'd suggest taking notes and recording your attempts to get him following through. Tell him you are doing so but do not allow him any access to your records. This will be important for the court case. Perhaps email copies to your sister. If he is not afraid of court, take him to civil court and tell a jury he would rather pay a stranger to take care of his kids than support their mother. He is counting on you feeling too intimidated to follow through on any threats, but you know you deserve better than being used for free labor and deprived of your independence and being treated this way.

> He is a good man, but he is allowing me to go into debt, and just fail financially.

> he will make my life a living hell

This...is not a good man.

You're married with a child but have to ask him for money for household bills? You're a SAHM but he leaves you with no access to finances and thinks you have "no needs"? He "assumes" you're making money? How does he not know anything about your business?

This marriage sounds extremely dysfunctional to me. You said it yourself, your life would be easier if you were single. It's laughable that he thinks he can get full custody when you're the primary parent. That's not how it works. Talk to a divorce lawyer and free yourself of this awful dude.

yeah he wants you to have no money

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Couples therapy can be a good place to discuss finances so you can have some backup and somebody to keep him accountable.

But frankly sitting down and telling him how close you are to divorce over this issues doesn't get his head out of his ass then nothing probably will.

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