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tuna_fart t1_j6lql0f wrote

He’s probably looking for variety when he’s not with you.

Really, his porn choices almost certainly have absolutely nothing to do with you.

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[deleted] OP t1_j6lt6w6 wrote

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Every_Jump_3603 t1_j6ltqes wrote

Sounds like you two should go to couples therapy honestly

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damagedtemptress t1_j6luks5 wrote

We probably should but we're pretty good at talking things out without it. I'm really honest and have brought some of these feelings to his attention and we've also problem solved a lot. We do work together to try to improve our relationship. I just have a hard time with my jealousy and insecurities and he can't really change his preferences but we could both respect each other more. Maybe I could respect his privacy and he could take more responsibility for his actions sometimes but I don't know if either of those two things are achievable. I do weirdly think our relationship will work out in spite of those things though. We just have to adapt.

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tuna_fart t1_j6lv8vg wrote

None of those things are remotely equivalent to watching porn. A better analogy would be him accusing him of emotionally cheating on him by watching a rom-com. It’s kind of a silly thing to be hurt by. It’s not related to you in any meaningful way.

Yes, dudes watch porn. No, it has no connection to their significant others. It’s purely a response to a visual stimulus. Women who genuinely have a serious issue with it are better off dealing with their own issues in therapy. Whether they admit it or not, guys are going to rub a few out now and then, and probably use porn to lubricants the process.

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[deleted] OP t1_j6m7h2r wrote

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tuna_fart t1_j6m8l6s wrote

Yeah, in my opinion, you’ve got some issues to work on. You fundamentally don’t understand male sexuality, for one thing. And are insisting on setting yourself up in opposition to terabytes and terabytes of video content. And weirdly trying to make an ideological issue out of it when it has nothing material to do with your hangup here. Porn exists. Dudes watch it. The end.

This is an advice sub. I’ve offered you my perspective. Do with it what you will. If you feel taking a stand here is going to lead you to more happiness, let him know who’s boss. I wish you good luck.

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