This sounds like a no go to me, absent any admission or ownership on her part. She has to own up, take responsibility for her decisions issues, get into therapy and also couples therapy with you. But honestly, my guess is it would not lead anywhere. Even her pluses are lame. Basically, she cooks and she’s pretty. If you marry someone for their looks and how that translates to your own self esteem you’re in for a world of hurt in the future. Good on you for putting off the wedding and good god do NOT merge finances.