Billowing_Flags t1_j6nngdr wrote on January 31, 2023 at 4:49 PM

Reply to comment by jabmwr in Five Year Relationship Ending - M41 F 35 by ThrowRA-AManHsNoName

And one of the "good things" about her is that she is "very pretty". Ugh!

OP:

Looks don't last; no one is "very pretty" forever.
She shouldn't get any kudos for good looks. She received those through the genetic lottery it required no effort on her part!
People should be judged on the effort they make to grow as well-rounded mature people - not the superficial aspects over which they have no/limited control (big bust, broad shoulders, height, pretty eyes, "very pretty").

Here are the aspects over which she has control

her personality - no interests of her own and not interested in yours
her intellectualism - nothing listed
her emotional development - she's negative, brooding, argumentative, shirks responsibility
finances - finally starting a career at 35yo; what's she been doing for the last 1.5 decades? She's selfish and unwilling to share; she wants you to be her wallet
So, 25% of her "good points" are that she was born attractive while 92% of her "bad points" are things over which she has control; but chooses to ignore. She's too lazy/selfish to make significant changes to herself which are necessary to be in a mature relationship with another adult partner. This woman is NOT the best partner you can find for a long-term relationship. It's a new year; treat yourself to a better relationship with a MATURE person who will pull at least 1/2 the load with you!

jabmwr t1_j6nno5w wrote on January 31, 2023 at 4:51 PM

I started typing what you said, but I didn’t have the energy lol

ThrowRA-AManHsNoName OP t1_j6npyab wrote on January 31, 2023 at 5:04 PM

This answer is very helpful for me, thank you. This is hard.

Billowing_Flags t1_j6o6gpp wrote on January 31, 2023 at 6:45 PM

It IS hard, but you will find (almost immediately) upon breaking up and no longer living with her that you will feel happier, lighter, more hopeful, interested in things/people/events. When you break with her, you should make it 100% (her and all her friends/relatives on all social media) and permanent.

Those of us who've left unfulfilling long-term relationships were surprised to find how quickly we felt immensely better. Best wishes on a great 2023!