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Separate ways I hope. This is not a good situation

In short - attacks of this kind is a BIG RED FLAG.

Find a lawyer - check your finances NOW

Ensure that you are ok as much as you can.

Even though you might loose something it is ok.

Just prepare to get the hell out of there.

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I was afraid to hear this answer, but deep down I knew it was the bigger possibility. I am truly struggling with the fact that I “attacked” first. Like I brought this on myself, he would’ve had no reason to do what he did if I didn’t start it. If only I just backed away and cooled down.

Looks like you both chose violence here. Red flags on both sides.

First step would be to communicate & apologise to each other.

It sounds like you two are abusing each other. Unless you're both willing to go to therapy and commit to big changes, separating is probably the best call.

Thank you. Life is so messy.

You both have issues you need to work on and don’t need to be together.

The whole relationship is toxic. Split up. Do a LOT of work on yourself

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The point of no return is behind you. Get some individual counselling.

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You could try couples counseling to see if you can learn to communicate.

I wouldn't. The violence is a deal breaker for me.

Kinda feel as tho if the genders were swapped or if it was two dudes the comments would be different

You were having an argument, he opted to leave the situation and let things cool, you then assaulted him and he responded in kind.

If you aren't gonna be able to take someone in a physical fight then don't try to physically fight.

Hopefully you guys can sit down, apologize and work thru this. Come up with healthy ways to deal with these arguments and if that means he has to go for a drive or a run or whatever then let him.

Throwing a box of paper is not comparable to physical manhandling. Stop feeling guilty.

Edit.

You could argue that you started the altercation- still one has to argue that men are not allowed to manhandle women. It is the same reason that a professional boxer will get a very hard sentence if he is a street fight and someone gets hurt. The boxer has an advantage. A grown man has the physical advantage (as you see) towards women.

She chose violence, he just defended himself and his right to leave the place.

Yeah because you did. You are the abuser in this one op.

Pretty hefty defence against a box of thrown tissues.

If you can't see that this was equally bad on both sides...

No good relationship will ever survive a fight like this. If you’re looking to find advice about how to fix this and move on while you stay together - you won’t find it. Put it this way, there are men you won’t feel the need to assault, and there will be men who won’t respond to being hit by cardboard with that kind of overkill. You want one of those.

I’m also suspicious because people always paint themselves better in these stories and you still don’t come off the best. Therapy is good for everyone but I emphasise its importance here.

No it isn't, is not about the box is about he trying to leave and her stoping him and getting physical first. If she was trying to leave and he did the same thing this was not even going to be a discussion.

Dude, they are just as bad as each other. He could have still left but chose not to. She could have not then been equally as aggressive when face to face.

Just because you feel that it's justified having a fight because of thrown tissues, doesn't mean it is. Tissues are scary huh.

Can gender swap or have it as whatever genders you want & I'll still think they're both at fault.

Isn't that what he did? He was leaving she tried to stop him he removed her from his way and left.

Read it again, doesn't say she was in his way.

If you interpret this as almost anyone would it's clear this is the case. Ask op, if she answer a comment that's not poor you we will know for sure.

Keep telling yourself whatever you want to justify being violent to others. It's sure not self defense...

You didn't "attack" him first

You attacked him first.

Dont play it down.

Not once in your post do you mention that he got violent other than pushing you down.

You on the other hand were throwing stuff and kicking him.

You don’t want to lose your stepson, but do you want him to grow up in a house with parents that abuse one another? You guys need to break up and get help separately.

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He isn’t supposed to drive at certain hours. He has an occupational license restricting him from doing so. I don’t want to jump on his back or yank on him to stop him, so idk why but I threw the tissues. Because the protective dog was between us and barking nonstop, I can barely yell loud enough over the barks. Then I walked up to him after throwing the tissues because the dog had moved at that point and asked for keys. He was facing the door and I was behind him. I was not between him and the door. He turned around and That’s when I was pushed into the closet and he held me there while yelling something. Idk what anymore.

Yes, I think I was kicking. After I was on the ground and being held down. That part is fuzzy still but that’s how I remember my kicking coming into play because the rest of the time I was walking around trying to gather myself.