Months ago, my bf met someone at one of his outdoor activities. Which is btw his hobby and is likewise the hobby of this girl. I know at that time because he posted Instagram photos of him together with other friends and the girl beside him.

I confronted him about the girl. Got into a petty fight because I was jealous but then I, later on, apologized for my irrational behavior. This happened months ago.

However, the thing is. I just recently found out that he and this girl has been communicating since then in telegram and has even been sending pictures of their life updates. He even invited her to join an event related to their outdoor activity hobby, which will be happening next month.

I confronted him about it but he told me that I am his only love and that the girl knew about me and the girl also has her bf.

Tbh, I don't know why I still felt disappointed and sad about what happened. I still can't forget that he talked to her behind my back, this thought alone sends tears to my eyes and gets me all emotional.

What should I do? How do I proceed with talking to him about it again? I'm just so lost because I love him and I want to trust him but the thought of what he did never leaves my head.

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fauxfomo t1_j6m3ln3 wrote on January 31, 2023 at 8:04 AM

#1,650,708

I don't know about the situation and I don't mean to make you panic. But a lot of the time when someone is talking to someone else in maybe a capacity they shouldn't, they do tend to say "you're my only love and she/he knows about you and they've have a partner". Sometimes it's completely true and innocent. But all the other times, it's not. I don't know why he went behind your back. Also, knowing about each others partners doesn't mean shxt to some people. Some enjoy the right under their partners noses/doing the forbidden. Idk. I hope it's not that. Good luck. But if you get any more red flags don't ignore them and don't waste your time.

ResNullius0729 OP t1_j6m49ck wrote on January 31, 2023 at 8:13 AM

#1,650,857

Replying to fauxfomo (#1,650,708)

Thank you for this. Will be looking out for those red flags. But I sincerely hope, with all my heart, that what he said is completely true.

ladylemondrop209 t1_j6m7bus wrote on January 31, 2023 at 8:56 AM

#1,651,658

The thought is of him "talking behind your back"... ??

How is this "behind your back"?

As in, do you expect him to not talk/message/interact with any girls ever?? Is this something he promised? Did you forbade him to do so before he went "behind your back" and talk to this girl? Was there some agreement between you two that neither of you are to talk/message the opposite sex?

My BF has female friends that I know and am sure he converses/messages with every now and then. I'm 100% sure he's not romantically interested in any of them.

I dunno why you have so little trust in your BF (perhaps new relationship, history of cheating, has betrayed your trust before or whatever).. but if I'm to assume he's done nothing previously to betray your trust, it appears you are insecure (thus have jealousy issues). I'd say there's nothing to talk to him about, it's more that you should reflect about yourself... then tell him about your insecurity/jealousy issues, and what he can do to help you not feel insecure/jealous.

Gosc101 t1_j6m873v wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:09 AM

#1,651,896

It's fine for them to be friends and stay in contact. If you are still insecure ask your bf to organise it so you can meet his friend too. He might be hesitant worrrying you plan to be rude to his friend so you should assure it is just to help you get over your insecurity.