Should I 25F continue talking to this guy 25M to see if he changes.

Submitted by Universitygotmecrazy t3_10q5mrp in relationship_advice

I (25F) recently started talking to a man over a social media app (25M), about three weeks ago. We have met in real life of course but we have not been on any dates, we haven't even said if we are dating or going to be in a relationship or not.

So tell me why after three weeks of only talking to each other, he is already asking me to come over to his house to watch a movie and asking me about sex, I already turned down the movie and the sex offer and he calmed down and we were talking good again, now he started back up with it again, saying he is going to make sure I'm comfortable and he won't do anything out of the way, he also said he won't rush it but then why bring it up. I mean I do like our conversations and we do have things in common, but I don't want to have sex with him, when I only have known him for three weeks and we haven't started dating yet.

I already feel like anything with this man is not going to go anywhere and is already hopeless, so Reddit what do you think?

Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

3

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

asianinindia t1_j6o3vzg wrote

You're right. It's not going to go anywhere since he's bringing up topics that you said you weren't currently comfortable with. He's disregarding your boundaries and that is a sure way to be a predatory partner. A relationship with him would suck. Don't waste your time.

4

Outside-Ad-1677 t1_j6nyinx wrote

If you already feel like it’s not going anywhere why are you wasting your time and his time? It’s obvious what he wants and it’s not what you want.

3

AutoModerator t1_j6ny7z3 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

Maddiesmydog t1_j6nysnn wrote

Your wanting a relationship he’s wanting sex only.

1

YourRAResource t1_j6nzd41 wrote

The biggest problem here is the lack of communication. If you want something real, you should have (and should) tell him exactly that. You said you started talking to the guy over social media, but what, are you just hoping for the best? That's not how relationships work. You need to use your words.

So now, he's told you exactly what he wants and what this is. That doesn't make him a bad person. He's being completely honest about what he wants. You said no to a movie and sex, but nothing else. It's like you're expecting that declining that will make him "wake up" and ask you out on a date and want a relationship.

You can only know where this is going if you ask. Stop guessing. Good luck.

1

ghosts-on-the-ohio t1_j6os0vz wrote

If he wants sex this early then that's what he wants. Nothing you say will make him stop wanting it. My BF and I didn't do the deed till we were together about seven months. Maybe that's extreme to some people but I am so happy we waited and took things slow. It is not too late to cut your losses and find someone who wants the same things you do.

1

ayylmao2016 t1_j6ob1hu wrote

Is it really so crazy to be all "Netflix and chill?" From him after three weeks of dancing around it? He probably thought it was time to make a move. At the very least I don't thinks it's that far out of left field. As for dating, how are you not dating after all this time and all the chats? In any event its pretty clear that you aren't interested. He will most likely give up soon if you don't have a straightforward conversation about what yall are doing.

0