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3veryonepasses t1_j6pav3a wrote

You’ll only hurt the person who’s been helping you after your breakup MORE because you’re delaying telling them the truth. You would be leading them on by saying yes to the Valentine’s Day date. Obviously you can’t go on a date with both of them like in the movies.

Just be honest with your friend and say “I like our friendship, and I want it to stay a friendship.” Maybe they asked you on a valentines date because they know you just got out of a long relationship and the holiday could be hard for you. So just be genuine with your feelings.

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YuutaIgarashi t1_j6pbb0t wrote

I valued them greatly as a friend, and I've told them about my love interest as well, I did say no every time they ask me out, I understood how love can hurt so much so I never hesitate to tell them "no", but they just refuse to acknowledge my lack of love interest in them.

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Therisemfear t1_j6pct5i wrote

If he values the friendship as much as you do, and is not just being nice for the sake of getting in your pants, he will understand. But it seems he is unwilling to accept your feelings and is ignoring your boundaries.

You have to issue an ultimatum and if he still refuses to acknowledge your lack of love interest, you need to cut them off as this friendship is inherently unsustainable.

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AuntyVenom t1_j6ph0i3 wrote

someone who "refuses" to acknowledge your communication about your relationship with them is someone who is harassing you. There is no excuse for this, and you have no duty of care to coddle it.

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RoosterPorn t1_j6pa7uv wrote

Go with your crush. I don’t think you owe the other person anything.

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YuutaIgarashi t1_j6paewd wrote

It's fine to just say no to the other person? I just don't want to make him sad...

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RoosterPorn t1_j6pasjj wrote

I think you have a reasonable excuse. If he cared about you he’d want you to be happy with your crush on Valentine’s Day.

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cinnamonduck t1_j6pi4pd wrote

Absolutely you can say no! Girl, it is not your job to make men feel better or protect their feelings. What about what you want? Put yourself first. Never say yes to a date or anything else just because someone wants it and you don’t want to hurt their feelings. That’s not fair to you. As women were conditioned to cater to everyone’s needs above our own, especially mens. I’m here to tell you to stop doing this, and give you permission to put your needs and wants first.

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AuntyVenom t1_j6pf9aa wrote

Go on your date. An ask out isn't an engraved invitation from the White House. You aren't stuck in any way, you need to be honest with the guy who is harassing you (yes, he is), and do what you want.

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YuutaIgarashi t1_j6pfprh wrote

I will go on my date, I just don't want to make the other person feels bad but I should be strong and just say no I guess. Thank you for your advice.

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