My father (M58) is planning on having a child with his girlfriend (F33), who is 6 years older than me (M27).

Submitted by ProfessionalManner25 t3_10pajur in relationship_advice

My father (58) is planning on having a child with his girlfriend who is 33, I am 27 years old.

My father is currently 58 years old he is dating his now girlfriend who is 33 years old. They have been dating for around 6 years now. My father is rich and she has always been after the money wanting expensive gifts all the time, while making sure that I get nothing.

They will start trying to make a baby next month, my father is almost sterile so they will try In Vitro (ICSI - where they take a single viable speem) treatment. My father still hides from me that they want to have a baby, she came to me a week ago and told me about it.

During my childhood my father was never around and I grew up almost without him. We have rebuild our relationship in the past few years due to us working together.

Me and my soon to be wife are planning on having a baby in the next year and I hoped that atleast as a grandfather he will be able to spend time with my future child. But I am afraid that when they have a baby he will not spend enough time with my child and his girlfriend will try everything in her power to get all the inheritence.

I feel grossed out and weird from the whole situation I don’t know if I want to keep talking with my father.

What should I do reddit? Should I try to talk to him that I am uncomfortable from the situation or that their child will not have a father for a very long time due to his age. I am so confused.

Tldr: My father (M58) is planning on having a child with his gold digger girlfriend (F33). I am (M27) and don’t know how I should feel or what should I do.

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UnsightlyFuzz t1_j6ji6dq wrote

Here's what you should do.

  1. Based on prior experience, expect nothing from him as a grandfather or in his will. If you get more that that, consider it a bonus.
  2. Distance somewhat from him because his current situation is rather gross, I agree.
  3. Don't predict whether this specialty fertility procedure will result in a baby, or what it's life will be like if it does succeed.
  4. Don't predict if a baby does result, that he will only be in that child's life a short time. He's 58, he could live another 40 years.

What I have recommended requires you to be a little zen, but if you can achieve it, your upset feelings will be minimized. Good luck with your own family and baby plans. That is where you should focus your attention.

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1dreamer3 t1_j6jbvnn wrote

Hopefully, you will have a successful career because you're not getting any of your stepmom's money...

She'll be too busy spending it with the pool boy...

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Infusion-delusion t1_j6jcclu wrote

Unfortunately anything you say will just antagonise him and play into his girlfriend's hands. Let him know that she's told you and say you're also trying for a baby so you will both know the joy of new fatherhood and he can have that special bond with his grandchild.

Keep in contact, even closer than before now the children will be good playmates. It will also royally piss his girlfriend off.

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dwells2301 t1_j6k2mv2 wrote

You should butt out and keep your opinion about the choices a grown man is making.

>while making sure that I get nothing

It's his money. Take care of your kid better than he did.

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caffeinatedNotYet t1_j6l508w wrote

Considering that he won't be in that child's life for long either, make sure you don't get stuck with raising it. Secure what needs to be secured, figure out your finances and evaluate if you want to stay in this relationship with your dad. It is absolutely gross from them both. Your feelings are valid. Two adults doesn't mean at the same stage of life, growth or maturity.

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Malibucat48 t1_j6lztt4 wrote

It isn’t guaranteed that she will get pregnant from IVF but unfortunately it is expensive. However, if she does have a baby, make sure it is your father’s because it could be the pool boy’s. Your father won’t get a paternity test and would be angry if you asked, but you can test the baby against your DNA and get a sibling DNA match. However, unless he catches her cheating or she does something horrible, she is here to stay. Proving the baby isn’t his would do it, but don’t count on it. Sadly, your father is a lost cause.

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