My (20F) roommate (26F) refuses to clean up after herself

Submitted by 777taurus t3_10q8or5 in relationship_advice

For full context this girl moved into my house last summer and lived in the 3rd room with her now ex. He moved out, so it’s just her in there. I have another roommate but he’s never here.

I got in a car accident 3 months ago and got hurt pretty badly and after this happened she started making demands. The first demand was she said I can’t let my cat out of my room because she doesn’t like when he puts his paw under her door, and she doesn’t want him to go in her room. I asked her why she couldn’t close her own door and she basically just made a threat saying she’d hurt him if he went in her room. She apologized for this 3 days later and said she just wanted to get along. Then it start up again.

The second demand was that I cannot use anything scented because she has a cinnamon allergy, therefore all candles, perfumes, and even my hair mousse bothers her. None of this bothered her for the 4 months she lived here before. She didn’t say this to me directly, she left a sticky note on my door. I wrote over it and told her she can’t tell me what I can and can’t do in my private room, but I will respect these rules in the common areas.

Ever since then she’s left stacks of dishes in the sink with food still in them and I cleaned them twice since I was going to have someone over and didn’t want our house to stink. She left my copper pan soaking and now it’s no longer non stick. And last thursday she used my pot and left it with mac and cheese in it sitting out, it is still dirty and she has ignored me when I asked her to clean it. She also hasn’t helped take out the trash in 6 weeks and it’s very hard for me to do with my injuries

So last night I put my pot outside her door along with my other dishes she never cleaned and it’s all still sitting there. She’s had opportunities to clean since I leave for class every morning. I’m getting fed up because she’s made other demands that I comply with but she acts like it’s fine to use my stuff and never clean it. She’s moving out in a month but I refuse to clean up after her again, all of my other kitchenware is now locked up and the pot was the one thing I didn’t lock in my room. What should I do? I’m tired of her practically bullying me and using me. Everyone is saying to throw the dishes on her bed but I’m afraid she might do something crazy

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yowen2000 t1_j6oiamj wrote

> She’s moving out in a month

Problem solved. Don't do anything crazy, keep your stuff, yourself, and the cat away from her for the coming month, as much as possible. This battle is not worth it, she'll be gone. It'll cause way more drama and escalation than it is worth.

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SleepFlower80 t1_j6on0ga wrote

Personally, the second someone threatened my cat, I’d be kicking them out. Technically your problem solves itself in a month - she’s moving out. Avoid her as much as you can for this next month and then breathe a sigh of relief when she buggers off.

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tymacpherson t1_j6ol1gk wrote

Well considering your roommate is moving out and you’ve all ready started keeping your stuff in your room all that’s left to do is completely stop engaging or talking to her and simply pretend she’s not there. No need to add any drama to this situation by putting dirty dishes in her bed.

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AuntyVenom t1_j6olaj6 wrote

She's moving in one month. Put your head down, stop giving in to her demands, leave her shit where she leaves it, don't clean up after her, and keep track of your kitty.

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